Category: Thought Box

When the Wu & the Seuss collide 🤣

In the depths of struggle, where shadows may roam,
Know deep in your heart, you’re never alone.
Through the storms and the trials, you’ve stood tall,
Your resilience shines, breaking down every wall.

Though wounds may be deep, and scars may remain,
Each step forward, you’re breaking the chain.
With each sunrise, a chance to renew,
To rise from the ashes, and start anew.

Embrace the journey, with courage and grace,
For within you lies, an unyielding space.
A spirit unbroken, a soul so divine,
You’re a beacon of hope, in life’s grand design.

So when doubts try to whisper, and fears start to creep,
Remember your strength, it runs deep.
You’ve conquered before, you’ll conquer again,
For healing is a journey, not a quick win.

The High Price of Loving an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Are you feeling lonely in your relationship, even though you’re with a partner? If so, it may be because they are emotionally unavailable, and you have become a little too dependent on them for your happiness and well-being.

Are you in a hokey-pokey relationship? When one partner seems to have one foot out the door, no matter how hard you try to make it work. Emotionally unavailable people also aren’t crazy about commitment or intimacy. If you’re seeking those things from your partner or parent, and constantly trying to “be enough” or “do enough” for them, there’s a good chance you’ve become codependent.

Do your attempts at nurturing love and connection feel like they’re often unappreciated or disregarded? If you find yourself over-giving and struggling to get anything close to reciprocity from your partner, then codependency may be at play. While loving someone deeply can offer its own rewards, there’s also a high price of emotionally investing in an emotionally unavailable or distant partner. Caring too much about someone dedicated to keeping their cards close to their chest can be draining both mentally and physically. 

Codependency is valuing approval from others more than valuing your own opinion of yourself, along with difficulty identifying your own feelings separate from another person. That can be a disaster if you find yourself in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner. You’ll always be chasing something they are dedicated to not giving you. 

The good news is that you can change this. The first step is to recognize codependency for what it is and look for ways to start valuing yourself more. You don’t have to remain stuck in a one-sided relationship. With self-awareness and support, you can start to navigate interactions from a healthier place. 

So what are the signs of someone being emotionally unavailable? 

1. They communicate erratically and inconsistently. 

Do you and your partner talk about meaningful things one day, and then go days or weeks without talking about much besides the weather? While you may expect consistent emotional check-ins or updates, they might be nowhere to be found—leaving you feeling confused, frustrated, and lonely.

2. They avoid talking about emotions. 

Does your person shut down when you start to talk about feelings…especially yours? Do they complain that you’re too emotional or sensitive? Folks who are uncomfortable connecting on an emotional level can’t be there for you when you need them. And, they don’t want to be. It’s too much for them. (You’re not too much for them, the emotions are.)

3. They opt out of making plans.

Are you the social director in the relationship? Do you find yourself making all the plans for your relationship because your partner won’t commit to even doing something, for sure, next week? Are they always pushing off talking about your future? Or, do they remain vague and general about possibilities, unwilling to nail anything down? Emotionally unavailable people keep things fluid so they can be in charge. It’s crazy-making.

4. They don’t show genuine affection and empathy. 

Is your partner unable—or unwilling—to be affectionate or empathetic? Are they dismissive of your needs? Do they avoid acknowledging your feelings? Or worse, disregard them entirely? These are glaring signs that they are not going to get emotionally involved with you… and leave you feeling unseen, unheard, and… alone.

5. They may not show up when you need them most. 

Does your partner often check out when you’re dealing with uncomfortable emotions or a difficult situation? Maybe, they don’t have the ability or interest to emotionally support you. That leaves you feeling alone and wondering if you actually have a partner. Or, sadly, it could be that they simply don’t care that much. Both are good reasons to start an exit plan.

6. They can be overly critical of you and others.  

Is your partner constantly criticizing or judging you, your friends, your family? Do they seem to have difficulty letting go of old grudges? And hold on to negative feelings? Emotionally unavailable people use criticism to keep themselves separate and distant, right or superior. Believing what they say about you, without examination, is a sure sign of codependency. It may be time to consider creating your own distance from them and shoring up your self-esteem.

Although it can be difficult to accept, it’s important to recognize the signs of an emotionally unavailable partner and take steps to understand and address your codependent behavior. With awareness and support, you’ll be more able to create meaningful connections with people capable of creating equality. People who can show up as true partners.

Codependency can have serious repercussions on both partners in the relationship. It creates an unhealthy reliance on one another, leaving both parties feeling trapped, resentful, and unsatisfied… for very different reasons!

If you recognize that you are in a codependent relationship, it is important to seek therapy or support from a qualified professional. You can break free from negative patterns of behavior and learn to create healthier, more equal relationships. Ready to start?

Navigating Love’s Battlefield: Understanding Addiction’s Impact on Dating

In the intricate dance of love and relationships, there exists a silent yet formidable adversary: addiction. It’s a topic often shrouded in stigma and shame, yet its effects ripple through every aspect of life, especially the delicate realm of dating. From the subtle nuances of behavior to the profound emotional rollercoaster, addiction leaves an indelible mark on the path to love.

Picture this: you meet someone captivating, their smile lighting up the room and their charm drawing you in like a moth to a flame. Yet, beneath the surface lies a struggle, a battle against substances that threatens to overshadow the beauty of connection. Addiction doesn’t discriminate; it can manifest in various forms – alcohol, drugs, gambling, or even behaviors like excessive gaming or compulsive shopping. Regardless of its guise, its presence casts a shadow over the budding romance, complicating what should be a journey of mutual discovery and growth.

For those dating someone grappling with addiction, the emotional turmoil can be profound. There’s the constant fear of relapse, the gnawing uncertainty of whether their love will be enough to conquer the demons within. Trust becomes a fragile commodity, easily shattered by the betrayals and broken promises that often accompany addiction’s grip. Yet, amidst the chaos, there’s also a glimmer of hope – the belief that with unwavering support and understanding, love can conquer even the darkest of nights.

But what about the individuals who find themselves entangled in the web of addiction? For them, dating becomes a minefield of self-doubt and shame. They grapple with the fear of rejection, terrified that their struggles will be met with judgment instead of compassion. The facade they meticulously craft begins to crack under the weight of secrecy and denial, leaving them feeling isolated and alone in a world that demands perfection.

Yet, it’s crucial to remember that addiction is not a moral failing but a complex interplay of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. It’s a disease that requires empathy, support, and, most importantly, professional help to overcome. For those in recovery, dating can be a double-edged sword – a source of joy and fulfillment, yet also a trigger for old habits and destructive patterns. It’s a delicate balance that requires open communication, honesty, and a willingness to confront the demons of the past together.

So, how do we navigate the treacherous waters of dating in the shadow of addiction? It starts with education and awareness – understanding the signs and symptoms of addiction, recognizing the role of enabling behaviors, and fostering a culture of compassion and support. It requires us to break free from the shackles of stigma and embrace vulnerability, both in ourselves and in our partners. And most importantly, it demands that we approach love with an open heart and a willingness to confront the darkness within, knowing that together, we are stronger than any addiction.

In the end, love is a battlefield, and addiction is just one of the many adversaries we may face along the way. But with courage, compassion, and a steadfast commitment to healing, we can overcome even the greatest of obstacles, emerging stronger and more resilient than before.

Embracing Resilience: Overcoming Adversity to Thrive

Let’s talk about resilience. It’s not just a word; it’s a powerful force that resides within each and every one of us. Resilience is the unwavering determination to stand tall in the face of adversity, to bounce back stronger when life throws its toughest challenges our way.

Think about it. Life isn’t always a smooth ride. It’s filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, moments of triumph and moments of defeat. Here’s the thing: resilience is what separates those who merely survive from those who thrive.

Resilience isn’t about avoiding hardships; it’s about embracing them head-on. It’s about refusing to let setbacks define us.

Instead, it’s about harnessing the power within ourselves to rise above, to overcome, and to emerge victorious on the other side. Consider the stories of countless individuals who have faced seemingly insurmountable odds—the cancer survivor who refuses to let illness dim their spirit, the entrepreneur who persists despite repeated failures, the student who keeps pushing forward despite academic challenges. What do they all have in common? Resilience.

Resilience isn’t about being immune to pain or suffering. It’s about finding the strength to keep moving forward, even when every fiber of our being wants to give up. It’s about turning setbacks into stepping stones and using adversity as fuel for growth.

Here’s the secret sauce: resilience isn’t something we’re born with—it’s something we cultivate. It’s a muscle that we strengthen through practice and perseverance. Every time we face a challenge and refuse to back down, we become a little bit stronger, a little bit more resilient.

So, my friends, I urge you to embrace your inner resilience. When life knocks you down, don’t stay down—get back up, dust yourself off, and keep pressing forward. Remember, the darkest nights often produce the brightest stars, and the toughest battles often lead to the greatest victories. In the words of Winston Churchill, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”

So, let’s summon our courage, let’s tap into our resilience, and let’s march forward with unwavering determination. Because no matter what challenges lie ahead, together, we can overcome them all.

Smile Pretty

I sit here every day by myself, and I ask if I did anything wrong to deserve this. I ask how it got to be this bad. I ask why I couldn’t just be loved the same that I loved. I realized these are questions that won’t be answered. I did nothing wrong to deserve what’s happened in my life. I do get upset when I’m told God only gives us what we can handle, but sometimes, the only way I’m breathing is my holding my head upwards for my nostrils to just be above water. Does that resonate?
Do you think anyone else in this world could handle what you’ve been through? I know NOBODY could, It’s insane to think of all the things I’ve endured but I rose above and came out on top, and I give everyone positive strength because I didn’t let it take me down. This isn’t bragging because I know how hard it can be,

I know how dark it can get. My arms are a constant reminder.

The next time you think about how rough things are, just know that you’re the one who will and has risen above. You’re the one who will share your story and it will change someone’s life.

It just takes one person to make a difference. It really does!

Paying forward is honestly the superpower that many people take forgranted,

love, forgiveness, and overcoming abuse

Love, in its purest form, is a source of solace, joy, and connection. Yet, when subjected to abuse, love can become entangled with pain, confusion, and mistrust. The wounds inflicted by abuse, whether physical or emotional, linger far beyond the immediate impact, fracturing our sense of self and our belief in the goodness of love.Repairing love after abuse is a monumental undertaking. It requires us to confront the trauma head-on, to acknowledge the depth of our wounds, and to seek healing with unwavering determination. It’s a journey that demands patience, self-compassion, and an unwavering commitment to our own well-being.

Forgiveness, often misconstrued as an act condoning the abuser’s actions, is a cornerstone of this healing journey. It’s not about forgetting or excusing the abuse; it’s about releasing the hold of resentment and reclaiming our power. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to our liberation, allowing us to transcend the pain and move forward with strength and grace.

Overcoming abuse is not a solitary pursuit. It’s a collective effort that requires a support system built on empathy, understanding, and non-judgment. It’s about seeking professional help, confiding in trusted friends, and creating a safe space to process the trauma without shame or guilt.

The journey to repair love and find forgiveness is riddled with challenges. It’s a labyrinth of emotions, marked by moments of despair and glimpses of hope.

It’s about rewiring our beliefs about love, recognizing our inherent worth, and relearning to trust—not just others, but ourselves.

Admidst this darkness, there’s light. The human spirit’s resilience is astounding. It’s in the small victories of each day, the moments of self-compassion, and the gradual rebuilding of our shattered hearts. It’s the realization that our capacity to love is not diminished by the scars; rather, it’s fortified by our courage to confront our pain.

To those navigating this path of healing and renewal, I extend my utmost admiration. Your bravery in confronting the shadows of your past is commendable, and your journey towards healing is a testament to the strength of the human spirit.

Let us collectively foster a culture of empathy and support for survivors of abuse.

Let us advocate for resources and spaces that facilitate healing and empower individuals to reclaim their sense of self-worth and capacity to love.

In closing, remember the words of Nelson Mandela: “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”,

In Too Deep

In shadows deep, where love did die,
A narcissist’s deceit, a painful lie.
Heartbreak’s chains, a relentless vice,
Tears like acid, love’s sacrifice.

Another cruel embrace, which I keep in secret, held tight.
A fleeting refuge in the darkest night.
A twisted dance, a poison’s hold,
A shattered soul, yet another one of my stories untold.

Alone, I stand, in the wreckage of me,
A silent scream, my heart’s decree.
In the mirror’s gaze, I see the truth,
A lonely soul, the remnants of youth.

But hope remains, a flicker, small,
To rise from the abyss, to stand tall.
For in the depths of despair’s cruel tone,
The strength to heal, to find my own.

To break these chains, and shed the pain,
To find my worth, and love again.
In solitude’s embrace, I’ll learn to thrive,
Reclaim my heart, and truly be alive.

Liberated from the Chains of a Narcissistic Relationship

Once a prisoner, now set free

❤️✨💔💪🚪

Heartbreak. It’s a word that fills our minds with images of sadness, longing, and pain. But what if I told you heartbreak could also bring us liberation, strength, and a newfound sense of freedom? I would like to share my story today, not to dwell on the past, but to inspire those who may find themselves in a similar situation. I emerged from the depths of a toxic, narcissistic relationship, and I am here to tell you that life after heartbreak can be filled with renewed hope, self-discovery, and joy.In the clutches of a narcissistic partner, everything becomes centered around their desires and ego. You lose yourself, your value, and your identity. But as I broke free from those chains, I realized that my worth goes so much deeper than the love I once craved from someone who could never truly reciprocate it.

The process of healing was not easy; it required a great deal of self-reflection, therapy, and a supportive network. I learned to let go of the blame I placed on myself for staying, for loving so deeply, and for allowing someone to wield power over my emotions. It was not my fault.

Slowly, I began to rebuild the fragments of my shattered heart. I focused on my own well-being, setting boundaries, and rediscovering my passions.

I surrounded myself with people who uplifted and loved me unconditionally.

Most importantly, I learned to love myself again.

Now, as I stand on the other side of heartbreak, I can genuinely say that I am grateful for the experience.

It taught me resilience, compassion, and the importance of fighting for my own happiness.

The scars that once marked my soul now serve as reminders of the strength I possess.

To all those who have emerged or are currently emerging from a narcissistic relationship, know that you are not alone. Your heart may be tender, but it will heal. Embrace the freedom that comes with letting go of a toxic love, and step into the light of self-discovery.

Love yourself fiercely, and celebrate each step forward on this beautiful journey of personal growth.

Your heartbreak has set you free, allowing you to open your arms to a future where you attract only genuine love and kindness.

#HeartbreakLiberation #FromHeartbreakToFreedom #EmbraceSelfLove

You Saved Me

Without exception to both men and women, the rescue fantasy is what has kept narcissistic relationships alive year after year. HOPE keeps the ship afloat, because once the hope is gone, there is nothing left to fight for. Hope can be real, and it can be an illusion, but in most cases, it is a little of both. The gaslighting dynamic is a critical brick in the rescue fantasy. Issues such as self-doubt, guilt, fear, and the prevailing fairy tale that “if you love someone enough., he or she will change” are what can lead people to spend decades fighting for these relationships. Every day becomes a new opportunity to “get it right”, “to try harder“, and when you look at the typical relationship books, they are about communicating more clearly, being more loving and making time for your relationship. All of this is lovely advice, only if the other person is noticing or listening!

Kierkegaard notes that “; Love is the expression of the one who loves, not of the one who is loved”. The challenge is that when this expression is not met with reciprocity, and in fact the opposite, it can be exhausting and demoralizing. The rescue fantasy is embedded in the public consciousness. In addition, if you grew up with parents who needed rescuing or if you found yourself in an early caregiving role, then it is easy to thing that more love is better. If you do more, if you care more, if you love more, then you will get more back. It’s not that linear, and while that may apply in a factory – work harder, make more widgets-it does not work in relationships, least of all with a narcissist.
When you remove that option, the option of “try harder and your partner will notice,” it can leave you angry., confused, and frustrated. People will live in a place of futility in their relationships for a very long time. In just about anything else in their lives, most of the people. I have heard in my group say, “If I had been this frustrated for this long in anything else, I would have quit the job, ended the friendship stopped speaking to the family member, or simply just quit” Something about close relationships keeps us in even after all of the evidence tells us to run. The rescue fantasy is in our DNA, and the rescue fantasy allows the beasts in our lives to get away with too much. We are a culture that loves the redemption story, and many people want to be the savior.

Although this relationship may have eroded away at your self-esteem, your self-worth, your decision-making abilities, and filled you with a lifetime of doubt, you still keep chipping away at it.
Love is redemptive. experience, and when experienced by healthy people, it can open them up to possibilities within themselves, facilitate growth, and provide strength at times of adversity.

L