Tag: love

From Wounds to Wisdom: Crafting a Legacy of Light

Good Morning

Before we begin, I want to share something deeply personal with you. It’s a letter I wrote to my son, Canon. It’s for him to read one day, when I’m no longer physically here. It begins…

“My sweet Canon,
There’s no map for what I’m about to say because the path we’ve walked together was never paved with easy choices or straight lines. It was built on fight, fire, and faith.
If you’re reading this, it means we’ve come to that part of the story where I step out of sight… but I never step out of your life. Not even for a second.
You are my greatest legacy.
Not my degrees.
Not my books.
Not my healing rooms.
You.”

I start here, with you: my fellow healers, counselors, coaches, and ministers; because I know you understand this in your bones. I know that the work we do isn’t a job. It is a calling. It is a sacred ache to create something that outlives us. It is the deep, cellular knowing that our true legacy will not be measured in accomplishments, but in the love, we give, the patterns we break, and the light we pass on.

This morning, we are going on a journey together. It is the most sacred journey a human being can take: the path from our deepest wounds to our most profound wisdom. We will explore how this personal transformation is the only true foundation for the legacy of light we are all here to build.

The Unseen Self: Recognizing the Landscape of Trauma

Before we can ever hope to guide another soul through the dark, we must first become intimate with our own inner landscape. The path requires us to map the territory of our own trauma; the patterns, the beliefs, and the brilliant survival mechanisms that have shaped us. This self-awareness isn’t just a tool for a healer; it is the tool.

Defining the Disconnection

On our path, we come to understand that we each have two selves. There is the True Self-our Divine Essence, the eternal, unchanging part of us that is one with Source. And then there is the ego self—the fear-based, reactive identity born from the illusion of separation. Trauma creates a profound disconnection from our True Self. It’s a spiritual injury that forces us, for the sake of survival, to identify with our wounds instead of our wholeness. We forget who we truly are and begin to believe we are the pain we have endured.

The Echoes of Pain

There is a truth that saved me, and it is this: “What doesn’t heal, repeats.” Unhealed trauma doesn’t just stay in the past; it echoes into our present. This disconnection from our True Self creates a void, and one of the most common ways we try to fill it is through what we call “love addiction.”
This is where unresolved relational trauma causes us to unconsciously crave chaos because it feels familiar. We begin to “mistake intensity for intimacy,” chasing partners and situations that re-enact our original wounds. It is a perfect, painful example of the shadow trying to protect us by recreating what it knows, all while believing we are searching for love.

The Survival Capsule

For so long, we were taught to see the hidden parts of ourselves-our shadow-as something monstrous to be defeated. But I want to offer you a new perspective, one filled with compassion. The shadow is not a monster; it is a survival capsule. When you endured trauma, pushing parts of yourself into the dark—your anger, your needs, your vulnerability-was not a sign that you were broken. It was an act of intelligent survival. You packed away everything that was unsafe to express, and you kept yourself alive.

This survival capsule is what keeps us identified with the ego self. It’s why we forget our Spiritual Power and believe our prosperity is limited. The journey back isn’t about destroying the capsule; it’s about remembering the True Self that was powerful enough to build it in the first place.

The Compass of Truth: Reclaiming Your Authentic Power

The truths I am about to share are not abstract theories. They are a practical, powerful compass for navigating the journey back to yourself. They are the source of authentic power that allows us to move beyond mere survival and into the conscious co-creation of a life aligned with our soul.

Redefining Power and Prosperity

We’ve been taught to see power as force and control but the truth that sets us free is this: Spiritual Power is the inner force we derive from our conscious alignment with Divine Source. It doesn’t control; it uplifts, heals, and transforms through love.

Similarly, we are taught that prosperity is about wealth. But on our path, we come to know that true Prosperity is a “State of Soul.” It is a holistic sufficiency in health, purpose, relationships, and peace that radiates from within when we are attuned to our spiritual power. It is not something you get; it is something you remember you are.

The Mind as the Builder

Our mind is the creative faculty of the soul, the bridge that connects the formless realm of Spirit to the world of form. This happens through a partnership between the two parts of your mind:

The conscious mind is the chooser, the gardener that selects the seeds of thought.
The subconscious mind is the garden, the fertile soil that manifests whatever is planted within it.

This is why mastering our dominant thoughts is the key to creating a new reality. The universal law is unwavering: “what you hold in mind will eventually manifest in form.” When we consciously plant thoughts of wholeness, abundance, and love, our reality has no choice but to reflect that truth back to us.

The Source of Healing

Perhaps the most empowering truth of all is this: all healing is self-healing. As healers, we are not here to “fix” anyone. Our sacred role is to facilitate, to hold space, to remind others of a truth they have temporarily forgotten. True healing is the restoration of our alignment with the “Healing Presence” within us-the divine blueprint of perfect health that is our natural state. Our job is to help our clients remember the wholeness that already exists within them, just waiting to be reactivated.

With these truths as our compass, we can now turn to the courageous work of putting them into practice.

The Work of Illumination: A Healer’s Sacred Toolkit

A compass is useless if you are not willing to walk the path. This section is about the practical, courageous work required to illuminate the unseen parts of ourselves. And let me be clear: these are the sacred tools we must first use on ourselves before we can ever authentically guide others. This is the non-negotiable work of integrity.

The Core Practice: Shadow Work

This next part is where the real work begins. It’s not easy, but I know the cost of avoidance, and I know you do, too. We have to be willing to turn and face what we’ve hidden in the dark. This is Shadow Work: the courageous and compassionate process of turning to see what lies within us not to banish it, but to understand and integrate it.

This work is most powerfully done in community. The shadow thrives in isolation, but in “The Circle,” it can be healed. A well-facilitated circle provides a container of:

Safety: A space where vulnerability is honored.
Witnessing: The profound healing that comes from being seen without judgment.
Perspective: Hearing others’ stories, which allows us to see our own patterns with fresh eyes.

Deconstructing Spiritual Bypassing

In our field, there is a dangerous pitfall where spirituality is used to avoid, rather than heal, our pain. This is spiritual bypassing, and it often appears as Toxic Positivity or Denial. The antidote to both is Radical Acceptance.

Avoidance Tactic	The Pitfall (What it is & What it sounds like)	Authentic Healing (Radical Acceptance)
Toxic Positivity (The Mask)	It’s slapping a smiley face sticker over a bullet wound. Invalidates authentic emotion. Sounds like: “Just stay positive!”	Acknowledges that you can hold multiple truths at once. Example: “I can be grateful and still be grieving.”
Denial (The Blindfold)	It’s pretending the bullet wound doesn’t exist at all. Blocks all insight by refusing to see a painful reality. Sounds like: “It’s not that bad.”	Holds space for the truth of a feeling or situation without shame. Example: “This feeling is valid and deserves my attention.”

Healing is when you remove both—face the mirror—and get honest about what hurts.

Uncovering the Gold

The most empowering part of this work is discovering what Carl Jung called the Golden Shadow. This refers to the brilliant, positive traits and untapped potential we suppress because we were told we were “too much”—too loud, too smart, too passionate, too bold. We often project this gold onto others. The people you admire, the leaders you idolize… But what if I told you the reason you’re drawn to those people is because they are reflecting your own hidden brilliance back to you? The work here is to stop projecting and start reclaiming. It is to finally own the light, the leadership, and the power that has been yours all along.

When we commit to this sacred work, we become healers who have walked the path ourselves—healers who are ready to build a truly lasting legacy.

The Legacy of Light: Becoming the Lighthouse

Our personal healing is not the final destination. It is the fuel. It is the raw material from which we build our ultimate purpose: to become a beacon for others and to leave behind a legacy of light that ripples out long after we are gone.

The True Inheritance

I want to circle back to that letter to my son. I told him that his greatest inheritance was not my achievements, but the “fire” he carries in his bones. That is the legacy we are here to build. It’s the resilience, the wisdom, and the love that we embody so fully that it gets passed down through generations. It is the story they will tell. As I wrote to him, “Tell your children about the woman who never gave up.” Tell them I was a bit wild. A bit witchy. A bit too honest. That is the inheritance that changes the world.

The Healer’s Ultimate Calling

I challenge you today to see your work through this lens of legacy. As a Metaphysical Minister, a counselor, a coach, your highest calling is not to have all the answers. It is to serve as a “lighthouse for those in dark nights of the soul.” Your purpose is to be a walking, breathing example of what is possible. It is to turn your own scars into a map that shows others the way home to themselves.

Final Call to Action

So I leave you with the same mandate I leave for my own blood, the same charge I live by every single day. This is why you are here.

You’re not here to be small, polite, or perfect.

You’re here to shatter patterns.

To break generational chains.

To speak truth into places where silence used to live.

This work is not easy, but you were built for it. And you are not alone.

You’ve got this. And you’ve got me. Always.

Thank you.

Understanding Your Relationship with Yourself

I’m not sure if I’ve already posted this but I’ve been clearing out my writing folders and podcast scripts and didn’t want this goody to go to waste.

Today we’re diving into one of the most important, and yet most overlooked, relationships in our lives, the one we have with ourselves.

Let me say this upfront:
The relationship you have with yourself is the primary relationship in your life.
Everything else: your friendships, your romantic partnerships, your career, your finances is a mirror reflecting what’s going on in that inner world.

Now let’s begin this journey by asking a question:
What is your relationship to you?
Whether you’re conscious of it or not, whatever is unresolved or unhealed within you is going to show up in every single area of your life.

Let me give you an example:
If you carry the belief, “I’m not good enough,” chances are that belief will bleed into your career.
If you think, “I don’t deserve to receive,” don’t be surprised when your financial life feels blocked or inconsistent.
These beliefs aren’t just thoughts, but they become the lens you see life through.

So, to really reach our potential, we have to start by looking inward and identifying what’s hurt, what’s wounded, what’s been buried and then tend to it.

Heal it. Empower it. Reprogram it.

And when we do that?
We don’t just feel better.
We become better in our self-esteem, in how we show up in relationships, in how we manage money, in how we handle stress. Literally, everything shifts.

So why don’t we learn this earlier?
The truth is, we rarely get this modeled for us growing up.
We live in a system built around classical conditioning — punishment and reward — and it trains us to look outward for approval, instead of inward for connection.

As kids, most of us were born into unconditional love. Somewhere around age two, that love starts to feel… conditional.
We start hearing messages like:
“Be a good boy.” “Do better.” “That’s not enough.”
And even if it’s well-intentioned, our little brains start to internalize these patterns as:
“I’m only lovable when I behave.”
“Love is something I earn.”
“If I mess up, I lose connection.”

That’s the first trauma most of us carry: the shift from unconditional to conditional love.
And it sticks… shaping how we talk to ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and how we expect to be treated by others.

So let me ask you:
What does your relationship to self look like today?

Do you show yourself compassion when you make a mistake?
Do you give yourself space to rest when you’re tired?
Do you listen to your own needs?
Do you keep your own boundaries?
Or are you still operating from outdated beliefs handed to you before you even knew who you were?

Here’s the truth:
Your self-relationship affects everything.
It sets your comfort zone, what you tolerate from others, what you believe you’re worthy of, and even what kinds of people you’re drawn to.
So if you find yourself constantly attracting people who hurt, abandon, or manipulate you
You’re not cursed.
You’re not broken.
You’re just unconsciously recreating the patterns you were taught.

Here’s the good news:
You can reprogram all of it.

Let’s talk ingredients.
There are five key components of a healthy relationship to self:

Self-awareness — Truly knowing yourself and having a stable sense of identity.
Self-respect — Treating yourself in a healthy, loving, and kind way.
Self-loyalty — Looking out for your own best interests and showing up for yourself.
Self-responsibility — Taking accountability for your choices and your healing.
Self-protection — Supporting yourself, protecting your energy, and caring for your emotional and physical needs.

When these pieces are in place, you don’t just survive but you thrive.

So, why does all of this matter?
It matters because your relationship to yourself is the blueprint for every other relationship you have.

It sets the tone for:

What behaviors you’ll tolerate from others
How you respond when someone crosses your boundaries
Whether or not you feel comfortable asking for your needs to be met
If you believe you deserve real, consistent, trustworthy love

When your internal world is calm, kind, and clear your external world starts to reflect that.

Now, here’s the final thought I want to leave you with today:
Every relationship outside of you , every challenge, trigger, or pattern is a reflection of your internal relationship to self.
And that means:
You don’t have to change the world to change your life.
You just have to come home to you.

Until then, be gentle with yourself.
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You’re just remembering who you’ve always been.

Consider booking a 1:1 session
You can learn more at www.healingmyfeelings.com.

Remember: healing starts within.

When Hope Becomes an Addiction in Toxic Relationships

Hope is often seen as a virtue, a beacon of light that guides us through the darkest times. From childhood, we are taught that hope is always a good thing—that if we just believe hard enough, things will eventually get better. What happens when hope becomes an addiction—an anchor that keeps us tethered to toxic, abusive relationships? For many who struggle with codependency, people-pleasing, or deep-seated fears of abandonment, hope can morph into a trap, keeping them in cycles of pain and disappointment.

When Hope Becomes a Trap

In a healthy context, hope is about looking forward to positive possibilities, but in a toxic relationship, it can become a survival mechanism. Those entangled in abusive or one-sided relationships often cling to the hope that things will change, that the person who hurts them will one day realize their mistakes and treat them with the love and respect they deserve. This kind of hyper-hope overrides reality, making it difficult to walk away even when all evidence suggests that leaving is the only way to heal.

Hope, when misplaced, becomes a way to justify mistreatment. It convinces us to endure pain in anticipation of a better future that never arrives. This is how hope becomes addictive—feeding the cycle of waiting, tolerating, and staying stuck.

As a coach, I hear about this battle with hope from my clients every day. It is the biggest struggle they face—knowing deep down that their situation is harmful but feeling completely unable to detach because hope keeps whispering, maybe this time things will change. The weight of this hope is immense, making even the thought of leaving feel unbearable.

Codependency and the Illusion of Change

Codependency thrives on hope. Those who struggle with codependent tendencies often believe that if they just love harder, sacrifice more, or fix the other person, they can turn the relationship into what they dream it to be. They see potential instead of reality and invest their entire emotional world into the idea that things could improve. This belief is reinforced when abusers throw breadcrumbs—small moments of kindness, apologies, or fleeting promises of change—giving just enough to keep the hope alive.

This addiction to hope can be so consuming that leaving feels impossible. The idea of giving up on the dream, of accepting that change will not come, feels more unbearable than the abuse itself.

People-Pleasing and the Fear of Disappointing Others

People-pleasers struggle to walk away because they fear being seen as cruel, selfish, or heartless. They hold onto hope because letting go means accepting that they cannot make everyone happy. Many have been conditioned to believe that their worth is tied to how much they can endure for others, so they stay, hoping their patience and kindness will eventually be rewarded.

This hyper-hope paralyses them, making it difficult to prioritize their own well-being. The fear of hurting someone else—even someone who has repeatedly hurt them—keeps them locked in toxic dynamics far beyond their breaking point.

Abandonment Wounds and the Desperation for Connection

For those with deep abandonment wounds, the idea of cutting ties feels like self-inflicted pain. The longing to be chosen, loved, or validated fuels the addiction to hope. They would rather hold onto a broken relationship than risk feeling unworthy, alone, or forgotten.

This desperation makes them more susceptible to manipulation. Abusers sense this fear and exploit it, using false hope to maintain control. They know just when to apologize, when to offer a sliver of affection, and when to pull away—keeping their victims in a state of constant emotional hunger. This was my overwhelming reason for staying in abusive relationships and I was absolutely addicted to hope.

Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope

Healing requires recognizing that misplaced hope is not love—it is a survival mechanism that no longer serves us. Breaking free from this cycle means:

Accepting Reality Over Potential – A person’s actions speak louder than their words or your dreams of who they could be. If they have shown you time and again that they will not change, believe them.
Understanding That Hope Is Not a Strategy – Hope does not heal wounds, change people, or turn toxic love into healthy love. It is not your responsibility to stay in harm’s way just because you believe things could be different.
Learning to Sit with Discomfort – Walking away will feel painful. The addiction to hope creates withdrawal symptoms—grief, self-doubt, loneliness. But these feelings are temporary, whereas staying in a toxic relationship only guarantees prolonged suffering.
Reclaiming Your Power – Instead of hoping for someone else to change, redirect that energy into yourself. Hope for your future, your growth, your healing. Placing hope in yourself, rather than someone who continues to hurt you, may feel unfamiliar at first, but it is the most powerful shift you can make.

Hope, in its truest form, should not be a chain but a set of wings. When we free ourselves from the addiction of false hope, we open ourselves to the possibility of a life where love, respect, and happiness are not things we desperately wait for but things we create for ourselves.

It is time to break the cycle and choose you.

Journal Prompts to Break Through Toxic Hope

What do I hope will change if I stay in this relationship, and what evidence do I have that the change I am hoping for is actually happening?
How has holding onto hope affected my emotional and mental well-being? Has it empowered me or kept me stuck?
If I let go of hope that this person will change, what emotions come up for me? What do these emotions tell me about my fears?
Have I ever ignored red flags or excused harmful behaviour because I hoped things would get better? What was the outcome?
What would my life look like if I placed hope in myself and my future instead of waiting for someone else to change?

You can begin your healing by claiming your Discovery Call

The Day My World Shattered — And How I Rose from It

There are moments in life that don’t just hurt—they split you wide open.

For me, that moment was the day I lost my mother to murder. No words can fully explain the way your soul leaves your body when you hear that kind of news. It’s the kind of trauma that steals your breath, unearths your faith, and makes time stop. In that instant, I wasn’t just a daughter mourning a mother—I was a woman faced with a devastating truth: life as I knew it would never be the same.

The grief wasn’t linear. It was tidal. Some days I was silent. Other days I screamed at the sky. And yet, within the darkest depth of that pain, I discovered something that would change the trajectory of my life forever: the choice to turn pain into purpose.

I could’ve folded. Many do. But I chose to rise—not just for myself, but for every person who’s ever been shattered by something that felt impossible to survive.

That loss led me to seek deeper meaning in every experience. It propelled me into holistic healing, trauma recovery, and spiritual counseling. It taught me how to walk with those grieving invisible wounds. And eventually, it allowed me to create Tranquil Balance—a life coaching practice that gives others the very thing I needed most: a safe place to be held, seen, and healed.

If you’ve ever faced a pain that made you question everything… I want you to know this: you’re not broken—you’re becoming. Your trauma doesn’t disqualify you. If anything, it gives you depth, discernment, and divine empathy.

I’m not here just because I studied psychology, attachment theory, or divinity. I’m here because I lived it. I clawed my way back from the edge. I stitched my life together with prayer, therapy, and community. And now, I offer that same hand to others who are still in the storm.

This pain? It didn’t destroy me. It revealed me.

And if you’re ready, I’ll help you find what your pain came to reveal too.

Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope Healing

I was absolutely addicted to hope.
Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope Healing requires recognizing that misplaced hope is not love—it is a survival mechanism that no longer serves us. Breaking free from this cycle means:
Accepting Reality Over Potential – A person’s actions speak louder than their words or your dreams of who they could be. If they have shown you time and again that they will not change, believe them.
Understanding That Hope Is Not a Strategy – Hope does not heal wounds, change people, or turn toxic love into healthy love. It is not your responsibility to stay in harm’s way just because you believe things could be different.
Learning to Sit with Discomfort – Walking away will feel painful. The addiction to hope creates withdrawal symptoms—grief, self-doubt, loneliness. These feelings are temporary, whereas staying in a toxic relationship only guarantees prolonged suffering.
Reclaiming Your Power – Instead of hoping for someone else to change, redirect that energy into yourself. Hope for your future, your growth, your healing. Placing hope in yourself, rather than someone who continues to hurt you, may feel unfamiliar at first, but it is the most powerful shift you can make.

Hope, in its truest form, should not be a chain but a set of wings. When we free ourselves from the addiction of false hope, we open ourselves to the possibility of a life where love, respect, and happiness are not things we desperately wait for but things we create for ourselves.
It is time to break the cycle and choose you

.Journal Prompts to Break Through Toxic Hope
What do I hope will change if I stay in this relationship, and what evidence do I have that the change I am hoping for is actually happening?

*How has holding onto hope affected my emotional and mental well-being?

*Has it empowered me or kept me stuck?

*If I let go of hope that this person will change, what emotions come up for me?

*What do these emotions tell me about my fears?

*Have I ever ignored red flags or excused harmful behavior because I hoped things would get better?
What was the outcome?

*What would my life look like if I placed hope in myself and my future instead of waiting for someone else to change?

The Addiction of Hope: How It Keeps Us Stuck in Toxic Relationships

When Hope Becomes a Trap

Codependency and the Illusion of Change

This addiction to hope can be so consuming that leaving feels impossible. The idea of giving up on the dream, of accepting that change will not come, feels more unbearable than the abuse itself.

People-Pleasing and the Fear of Disappointing Others

This hyper-hope paralysis them, making it difficult to prioritize their own well-being. The fear of hurting someone else—even someone who has repeatedly hurt them—keeps them locked in toxic dynamics far beyond their breaking point.

Abandonment Wounds and the Desperation for Connection

Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope

Healing requires recognizing that misplaced hope is not love—it is a survival mechanism that no longer serves us. Breaking free from this cycle means:

Accepting Reality Over Potential – A person’s actions speak louder than their words or your dreams of who they could be. If they have shown you time and again that they will not change, believe them.
Understanding That Hope Is Not a Strategy – Hope does not heal wounds, change people, or turn toxic love into healthy love. It is not your responsibility to stay in harm’s way just because you believe things could be different.
Learning to Sit with Discomfort – Walking away will feel painful. The addiction to hope creates withdrawal symptoms—grief, self-doubt, loneliness. But these feelings are temporary, whereas staying in a toxic relationship only guarantees prolonged suffering.
Reclaiming Your Power – Instead of hoping for someone else to change, redirect that energy into yourself. Hope for your future, your growth, your healing. Placing hope in yourself, rather than someone who continues to hurt you, may feel unfamiliar at first, but it is the most powerful shift you can make.

It is time to break the cycle and choose you.

Journal Prompts to Break Through Toxic Hope

What do I hope will change if I stay in this relationship, and what evidence do I have that the change I am hoping for is actually happening?
How has holding onto hope affected my emotional and mental well-being? Has it empowered me or kept me stuck?
If I let go of hope that this person will change, what emotions come up for me? What do these emotions tell me about my fears?
Have I ever ignored red flags or excused harmful behavior because I hoped things would get better? What was the outcome?
What would my life look like if I placed hope in myself and my future instead of waiting for someone else to change?

Life Lessons I Wish I Learned Sooner: Healing After Loss, Abuse, and Cancer

Life Lessons I Wish I Learned Sooner
By Christina | Tranquil Balance Life Coaching | www.healingmyfeelings.com

There are lessons life teaches you gently—and then there are the ones that come like a freight train. Mine came through heartbreak, loss, betrayal, and the kind of pain that no one prepares you for.

I wish I could say I learned these things sitting cross-legged in peace, sipping tea with grace. But the truth? I learned them face-down in the dirt, clawing my way through grief, emotional abuse, and a cancer diagnosis that changed everything.

So here they are—the lessons I wish I’d known sooner… but now that I do, I live and lead by them:

1. Love doesn’t mean staying—especially when it’s breaking you.
I once believed that loving harder could fix what was broken. That if I just stayed, stayed loyal, stayed patient, it would all work out.
But no amount of love can heal someone who refuses to confront their own wounds. I lost parts of myself trying to save someone who was drowning and pulling me under with them.
Leaving wasn’t giving up. It was finally choosing me.

2. Grief has no timeline, and it doesn’t ask for permission.
When David died, it was like the world shifted off its axis. I didn’t just lose a person—I lost a future, a sense of normalcy, and a piece of my heart I’ll never get back.
Some days I laugh. Some days I cry while folding laundry. That’s grief—it’s not linear, and it doesn’t care how “strong” you think you are.
I wish someone had told me that healing isn’t about forgetting—it’s about making room for both love and loss to exist.

3. Strength isn’t about pretending you’re okay—it’s about surviving when you’re not.
Cancer stripped me down to the rawest version of myself. Suddenly, strength wasn’t about hustle—it was about surrender.
It was choosing to show up for one more doctor’s appointment. It was crying in the shower and still answering the next client call.
Strength isn’t loud—it’s quiet, steady, and often unseen.

4. You don’t have to keep proving your worth to people who refuse to see it.
For years, I tried to earn love by shrinking myself. I kept peace at the expense of my own peace.
But here’s the thing: no amount of explaining yourself will ever be enough for someone committed to misunderstanding you.
Your worth isn’t up for debate, and you don’t owe anyone a performance.

5. Your pain isn’t your identity—but it will shape your purpose.
Every scar I carry, every sleepless night, every moment I wanted to give up—it all became part of the mission.
Not because I asked for it, but because I refused to let it define me.
I turned it into fuel. Into compassion. Into coaching rooms where others finally feel seen.
My pain cracked me open, but purpose is what grew from those broken places.

If you’re reading this and feeling like life keeps kicking you while you’re already down—breathe.
You’re not broken. You’re being broken open.
There’s power on the other side of this pain. There’s purpose, too.

And if no one’s told you lately—
You’re allowed to leave what hurts.
You’re allowed to grieve out loud.
You’re allowed to start over.
And most of all—
You’re allowed to be proud of how far you’ve come… even if you’re still healing.

Need support? I’m here. This isn’t just my job—it’s my calling.
Book a free consultation or learn more about healing from narcissistic abuse, codependency, and trauma at www.healingmyfeelings.com.
You’re not alone anymore.

When the Wu & the Seuss collide 🤣

In the depths of struggle, where shadows may roam,
Know deep in your heart, you’re never alone.
Through the storms and the trials, you’ve stood tall,
Your resilience shines, breaking down every wall.

Though wounds may be deep, and scars may remain,
Each step forward, you’re breaking the chain.
With each sunrise, a chance to renew,
To rise from the ashes, and start anew.

Embrace the journey, with courage and grace,
For within you lies, an unyielding space.
A spirit unbroken, a soul so divine,
You’re a beacon of hope, in life’s grand design.

So when doubts try to whisper, and fears start to creep,
Remember your strength, it runs deep.
You’ve conquered before, you’ll conquer again,
For healing is a journey, not a quick win.

How to Know if You Struggle with Love Addiction

If you struggle with love addiction, you’re familiar with the feeling of intense interest in someone who shows little interest in you. You may skip over the getting-to-know-you phase and propel yourself into a future of undying devotion.

However, this future exists only in your mind because the object of your desire has shown no sign they feel the same way. These maladaptive and self-sabotaging patterns echo a childhood in which you had to convince yourself your parents cared and would do anything to protect you, even when they demonstrated no such intention.

Here are five signs you suffer from love addiction; see how many resonate with you.

You are drawn to unavailable people.

These partners might have narcissistic qualities, avoid intimacy, or simply show no interest in a deeper relationship with you. You create a fantasy in your mind because it’s easier than facing the reality that this person is not interested in a real relationship.

You find nice people boring.

You don’t feel that chemical attraction to people who treat you well. You find a way to sabotage any chance of a relationship with them because they are not creating the chaos you crave.

This is why we must not mistake that instant chemistry for a green light. In fact, it may be the red flag saying you’re about to enter a danger zone, so beware.

You think if you try hard enough, you’ll win love.

With love addiction, red flags are ignored or excused. You think with enough love and understanding you’ll coax this person into a relationship, even when there is a pattern of evading commitment.

You approach relationships with the same striving you did with your parents or caregivers—striving that never got your needs met and which will have the same result today.

You believe a relationship will rescue you.

Even if someone all but ignores you, you believe this person is the one who can solve all your problems. You’re convinced he or she will make your life perfect if only you can uncover the “real” person inside.

You tell yourself that once that happens, this person will understand you were meant for each other, and you can finally feel complete. If you only need less and give more, he or she will become your savior and fill the empty space inside.

You re-create past trauma.

With love addiction, you’re attracted to partners who make you feel the same way your parents or caregivers did. You reenact this need to win their love by becoming clingy and frantic for their attention.

This activates the person’s fear of intimacy, and they pull away, which only makes you work harder to win their affection. The feeling of longing for someone who appears distant or as though he cares much less about you is compelling because it’s familiar.

It triggers the same false promise it did with your mom or dad (or another caregiver): if I only try hard enough, this person will love me; if I can only be perfect, this person will finally see I’m worthwhile.

How to Recover from Love Addiction:

Take Time Alone for Self-Care

Love addiction often means going from one relationship to another without taking a break to focus on your own needs or process what happened. Consider some time off from dating to date yourself for a while.

Just as we need self-connection before we can connect with others, self-fulfillment comes from within, rather than as a product of what others give us.

See Dating as Information-Gathering

If you struggle with love addiction, you may treat dating as a one-sided test where you prove your worthiness as a romantic partner. Begin to see dating instead as an information-gathering exercise.

Listen to what the other person is telling you without sugar-coating it or telling yourself it means something different. In addition, pay attention to their actions which speak more loudly than words.