Everyone loves to talk about healing. But few people talk about what it really feels like to do it.
Healing isn’t just crystals, ceremonies, or self-care Sundays. Sometimes, it’s grief that shakes your bones. Sometimes, it’s screaming into a pillow. Sometimes, it’s confronting the ugliest parts of yourself: the jealous part, the vengeful part, the insecure part, and realizing they didn’t come from nowhere.
They were shaped by pain. Inherited from lineage. Forged in trauma. Pretending they don’t exist in the name of “love and light” is not healing. It’s hiding.
Love and Light Without Accountability is Avoidance
Let’s be clear: love and light are beautiful, but if they are used to suppress shadow, we’re no longer practicing spirituality — we’re bypassing reality.
Spiritual bypassing is when you use affirmations to skip grief.
It’s when you use forgiveness to avoid boundaries.
It’s when you meditate, but don’t apologize.
Alignment, on the other hand, is a practice of both: the divine and the difficult.
Shadow Work is Sacred Confrontation
Shadow work isn’t a trend. It’s spiritual warfare with your own unconscious.
It’s not about “fixing” your darkness. It’s about owning it.
When you deny your shadow, it runs the show from the backseat, but when you meet it, you can integrate it…And integration is where liberation begins.
Try this prompt:
“What shadow did I inherit… and what did I choose to carry?”
Write until your hand cramps.
Then read it back.
Sit in it.
This is your truth.
Healing is Not Aesthetic
Real healing is:
Saying, “I was wrong.”
Walking away even when you’re lonely.
Telling the truth, even if your voice shakes.
Feeling ugly emotions without shame.
It’s not Instagrammable. It’s internal. And it’s holy.
Your Spirit Deserves Truth, Not Performance
If you’ve been told you’re too intense, too deep, too much — good.
You were never meant to perform healing. You were meant to live it.
We don’t ascend by avoiding our humanity. We ascend by embracing it with accountability.
So go ahead. Get angry. Get real. Then get aligned.
Ready to dive into the real work? Book a healing session
Author: Christina Nicole
Letters to Myself: A Journey of Self-Discovery
I write myself letters and I’ll grab a random page out of my journal, write something and then however time that passes, I’ll get to that page and see it. Tonight was one of those letters. As I share this with you all, this is also a letter for you all. Life is hard. It doesn’t need to be that way, so why do we continue to make it hard? Just something to think about. Nobody is coming to “rescue” or “save” you. I know that feeling how we want that to happen, but when that does, we lose our power. If you’ve been in that situation before, you can understand what I’m saying. I needed to read this tonight and I hope it encourages you as well. Keep going! Keep working on yourself because you’re worthy. Be the person you want to date. When you love yourself, the right kind of person will also love you. Never lose those standards. Never!
Letter To Myself:
Hey Chica, I can see you’re going through a tough time right now, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. Life can be incredibly challenging, and it’s completely normal to struggle with the choices we make and the obstacles we face.
First of all, I want to acknowledge your strength. Despite the difficulties you’re experiencing, you’re still here, facing each day with courage and determination. That’s something to be proud of.
It’s important to remember that we all make mistakes and face tough times in life. What’s crucial is how we respond to these challenges. Instead of dwelling on past choices or letting them define you, focus on what you can do right now to create positive change in your life. Stop thinking of why this happened to you. Start asking yourself “What am I going to do?”
Soo…what are you going to do?
Try these out:
Take some time to reflect on the lessons you’ve learned from your experiences. Every setback, every mistake, is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Use these experiences to become stronger and wiser.
Reach out for support when you need it. Whether it’s talking to a trusted friend, seeking guidance from a therapist, or finding support groups in your community, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to face your struggles alone.
I know there is lots of shame, so grab the phone and record yourself. Remember to be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can with the resources you have, and that’s enough.
Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend in need.
Lastly, keep moving forward, one step at a time. It’s okay if progress feels slow or if you encounter setbacks along the way. What matters is that you keep pushing forward, even when it’s hard.
You are capable of overcoming the challenges life throws your way. Believe in yourself, stay resilient, and know that brighter days are ahead. You’ve got this.
Look at everything you’ve overcome. Don’t let THIS be the thing that stops you, but another stepping stone that makes you the beautiful human being you are. Look at what you’ve overcome.
Loving you Always-
The one you’re forgetting about but I’m not forgetting you.
YOU ARE AMAZING!
The Day My World Shattered — And How I Rose from It
There are moments in life that don’t just hurt—they split you wide open.
For me, that moment was the day I lost my mother to murder. No words can fully explain the way your soul leaves your body when you hear that kind of news. It’s the kind of trauma that steals your breath, unearths your faith, and makes time stop. In that instant, I wasn’t just a daughter mourning a mother—I was a woman faced with a devastating truth: life as I knew it would never be the same.
The grief wasn’t linear. It was tidal. Some days I was silent. Other days I screamed at the sky. And yet, within the darkest depth of that pain, I discovered something that would change the trajectory of my life forever: the choice to turn pain into purpose.
I could’ve folded. Many do. But I chose to rise—not just for myself, but for every person who’s ever been shattered by something that felt impossible to survive.
That loss led me to seek deeper meaning in every experience. It propelled me into holistic healing, trauma recovery, and spiritual counseling. It taught me how to walk with those grieving invisible wounds. And eventually, it allowed me to create Tranquil Balance—a life coaching practice that gives others the very thing I needed most: a safe place to be held, seen, and healed.
If you’ve ever faced a pain that made you question everything… I want you to know this: you’re not broken—you’re becoming. Your trauma doesn’t disqualify you. If anything, it gives you depth, discernment, and divine empathy.
I’m not here just because I studied psychology, attachment theory, or divinity. I’m here because I lived it. I clawed my way back from the edge. I stitched my life together with prayer, therapy, and community. And now, I offer that same hand to others who are still in the storm.
This pain? It didn’t destroy me. It revealed me.
And if you’re ready, I’ll help you find what your pain came to reveal too.
Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope Healing
I was absolutely addicted to hope.
Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope Healing requires recognizing that misplaced hope is not love—it is a survival mechanism that no longer serves us. Breaking free from this cycle means:
Accepting Reality Over Potential – A person’s actions speak louder than their words or your dreams of who they could be. If they have shown you time and again that they will not change, believe them.
Understanding That Hope Is Not a Strategy – Hope does not heal wounds, change people, or turn toxic love into healthy love. It is not your responsibility to stay in harm’s way just because you believe things could be different.
Learning to Sit with Discomfort – Walking away will feel painful. The addiction to hope creates withdrawal symptoms—grief, self-doubt, loneliness. These feelings are temporary, whereas staying in a toxic relationship only guarantees prolonged suffering.
Reclaiming Your Power – Instead of hoping for someone else to change, redirect that energy into yourself. Hope for your future, your growth, your healing. Placing hope in yourself, rather than someone who continues to hurt you, may feel unfamiliar at first, but it is the most powerful shift you can make.
Hope, in its truest form, should not be a chain but a set of wings. When we free ourselves from the addiction of false hope, we open ourselves to the possibility of a life where love, respect, and happiness are not things we desperately wait for but things we create for ourselves.
It is time to break the cycle and choose you
.Journal Prompts to Break Through Toxic Hope
What do I hope will change if I stay in this relationship, and what evidence do I have that the change I am hoping for is actually happening?
*How has holding onto hope affected my emotional and mental well-being?
*Has it empowered me or kept me stuck?
*If I let go of hope that this person will change, what emotions come up for me?
*What do these emotions tell me about my fears?
*Have I ever ignored red flags or excused harmful behavior because I hoped things would get better?
What was the outcome?
*What would my life look like if I placed hope in myself and my future instead of waiting for someone else to change?
The Addiction of Hope: How It Keeps Us Stuck in Toxic Relationships
Hope is often seen as a virtue, a beacon of light that guides us through the darkest times. From childhood, we are taught that hope is always a good thing—that if we just believe hard enough, things will eventually get better. What happens when hope becomes an addiction—an anchor that keeps us tethered to toxic, abusive relationships? For many who struggle with codependency, people-pleasing, or deep-seated fears of abandonment, hope can morph into a trap, keeping them in cycles of pain and disappointment.
When Hope Becomes a Trap
In a healthy context, hope is about looking forward to positive possibilities, but in a toxic relationship, it can become a survival mechanism. Those entangled in abusive or one-sided relationships often cling to the hope that things will change, that the person who hurts them will one day realize their mistakes and treat them with the love and respect they deserve. This kind of hyper-hope overrides reality, making it difficult to walk away even when all evidence suggests that leaving is the only way to heal.
Hope, when misplaced, becomes a way to justify mistreatment. It convinces us to endure pain in anticipation of a better future that never arrives. This is how hope becomes addictive—feeding the cycle of waiting, tolerating, and staying stuck.
As a coach, I hear about this battle with hope from my clients every day. It is the biggest struggle they face—knowing deep down that their situation is harmful but feeling completely unable to detach because hope keeps whispering, maybe this time things will change. The weight of this hope is immense, making even the thought of leaving feel unbearable.
Codependency and the Illusion of Change
Codependency thrives on hope. Those who struggle with codependent tendencies often believe that if they just love harder, sacrifice more, or fix the other person, they can turn the relationship into what they dream it to be. They see potential instead of reality and invest their entire emotional world into the idea that things could improve. This belief is reinforced when abusers throw breadcrumbs—small moments of kindness, apologies, or fleeting promises of change—giving just enough to keep the hope alive.
This addiction to hope can be so consuming that leaving feels impossible. The idea of giving up on the dream, of accepting that change will not come, feels more unbearable than the abuse itself.
People-Pleasing and the Fear of Disappointing Others
People-pleasers struggle to walk away because they fear being seen as cruel, selfish, or heartless. They hold onto hope because letting go means accepting that they cannot make everyone happy. Many have been conditioned to believe that their worth is tied to how much they can endure for others, so they stay, hoping their patience and kindness will eventually be rewarded.
This hyper-hope paralysis them, making it difficult to prioritize their own well-being. The fear of hurting someone else—even someone who has repeatedly hurt them—keeps them locked in toxic dynamics far beyond their breaking point.
Abandonment Wounds and the Desperation for Connection
For those with deep abandonment wounds, the idea of cutting ties feels like self-inflicted pain. The longing to be chosen, loved, or validated fuels the addiction to hope. They would rather hold onto a broken relationship than risk feeling unworthy, alone, or forgotten.
This desperation makes them more susceptible to manipulation. Abusers sense this fear and exploit it, using false hope to maintain control. They know just when to apologize, when to offer a sliver of affection, and when to pull away—keeping their victims in a state of constant emotional hunger. This was my overwhelming reason for staying in abusive relationships and I was absolutely addicted to hope.
Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope
Healing requires recognizing that misplaced hope is not love—it is a survival mechanism that no longer serves us. Breaking free from this cycle means:
- Accepting Reality Over Potential – A person’s actions speak louder than their words or your dreams of who they could be. If they have shown you time and again that they will not change, believe them.
- Understanding That Hope Is Not a Strategy – Hope does not heal wounds, change people, or turn toxic love into healthy love. It is not your responsibility to stay in harm’s way just because you believe things could be different.
- Learning to Sit with Discomfort – Walking away will feel painful. The addiction to hope creates withdrawal symptoms—grief, self-doubt, loneliness. But these feelings are temporary, whereas staying in a toxic relationship only guarantees prolonged suffering.
- Reclaiming Your Power – Instead of hoping for someone else to change, redirect that energy into yourself. Hope for your future, your growth, your healing. Placing hope in yourself, rather than someone who continues to hurt you, may feel unfamiliar at first, but it is the most powerful shift you can make.
Hope, in its truest form, should not be a chain but a set of wings. When we free ourselves from the addiction of false hope, we open ourselves to the possibility of a life where love, respect, and happiness are not things we desperately wait for but things we create for ourselves.
It is time to break the cycle and choose you.
Journal Prompts to Break Through Toxic Hope
- What do I hope will change if I stay in this relationship, and what evidence do I have that the change I am hoping for is actually happening?
- How has holding onto hope affected my emotional and mental well-being? Has it empowered me or kept me stuck?
- If I let go of hope that this person will change, what emotions come up for me? What do these emotions tell me about my fears?
- Have I ever ignored red flags or excused harmful behavior because I hoped things would get better? What was the outcome?
- What would my life look like if I placed hope in myself and my future instead of waiting for someone else to change?
🌿The God Complex: A Throne Built on Insecurity
“You can always tell who the real king is… they’re too busy building to bother tearing others down.”
“The God Complex: When Self-Reflection is the One Thing Missing from Your Throne”
It’s fascinating how often the people who cry “God Complex!” are the very ones unknowingly wearing the crown themselves.
Lately, I’ve heard the term thrown my way — with the kind of conviction that tells me it wasn’t meant to spark conversation, but to shut it down. So, let’s talk about it. If I’m being accused of something, I’d like to at least make sure we’re all on the same page about what that actually means.
What is a God Complex, Really?
A true God Complex involves an inflated sense of self, an inability to acknowledge one’s own flaws, and the belief that they are always right — beyond reproach, above accountability. It shows up as dominance masked as leadership, control disguised as care, and manipulation dressed up as “help.”
It’s not confidence.
It’s not clarity.
It’s not standing up for yourself.
It’s not having standards.
It’s the absence of humility. The inability to say, “Maybe I got this one wrong.” It’s the refusal to apologize or consider another perspective because, well… why would a “god” need to?
Accountability vs. Arrogance
Here’s the thing: when someone sets boundaries, articulates their needs, or holds up a mirror — that’s not a god complex. That’s called emotional maturity. That’s called doing the work. Owning your story. Healing your wounds. And yes, it may feel intimidating to those who are still running from their own reflection.
You see, accountability is often mistaken for arrogance by people who have none.
It’s the easiest cop-out for someone who doesn’t want to face their own behavior: label the person challenging you as “difficult,” “too much,” or “thinking they’re better than everyone.” That way, they never have to look at the role they’re playing.
Convenient, isn’t it?
Projection: The Real Deity at Play
Psychology calls it projection: when a person attributes their own unacceptable qualities or feelings onto someone else. You might say things like,
“You always think you’re right,”
when deep down, it’s you who never listens.
Or perhaps you accuse someone of being controlling, while simultaneously dictating the terms of every conversation, deciding whose feelings matter and whose don’t.
It’s funny how the loudest accusations often say more about the accuser than the accused.
Spoiler Alert: I Don’t Have a God Complex — But I Do Have Standards
I don’t claim to be perfect. In fact, I pride myself on being deeply human. Flawed. Learning. Always open to feedback — but not to gaslighting…and there’s a difference.
I won’t apologize for having self-worth. For using my voice. For expecting mutual respect and effort. That’s not a complex; that’s self-respect.
I know it can feel easier to villainize someone who’s leveled up than to admit you’re still stuck in the same chapter — rereading the same excuses, blaming the same people.
The Irony of Misdiagnosis
Here’s the part that stings (if you’re ready for a little truth serum):
The person so quick to diagnose someone else with a god complex often does so because they can’t handle not being the center of the universe themselves.
The need to always be right. The inability to receive critique. The defensiveness when called out. The chronic “But what about me?” energy.
That’s not me. Boy, it sure does sound familiar.
A Little Reminder for the Reader Who Might Be Feeling This One Personally
I see the potential in people. I believe in redemption arcs. One thing I won’t do is water myself down to be palatable for someone who hasn’t done their own work.
When you dismiss, deflect, and blame — you’re not just pushing me away, you’re robbing yourself of someone extraordinary.
That’s the thing about crowns:
Some are earned through integrity.
Others are just imaginary, placed on the head by the person who fears they might otherwise be… ordinary.
You can call it whatever you want.
But at the end of the day — I’m still over here, healing, growing, thriving, and shining.
Whether you choose to see it or not doesn’t dim my light.
It just means you’re standing too far in the shadows.
With love, clarity, and just enough sass,
Christina Stuller
Life Coach • Counselor • Radical Accountability Advocate
healingmyfeelings.com | Info@healingmyfeelings.com
If this hit home — good. Growth is uncomfortable. But here’s the thing:
I’m not here to tear anyone down. I’m here to elevate, empower, and embody the healing I offer to others every single day.
I won’t lower my standards to make someone else feel taller.
If you’re ready to explore what true self-awareness and accountability look like (and drop the blame game), I invite you to join me for a free 45-minute consultation. Let’s talk about healing, about truth, about how to reclaim your power — without stepping on anyone else to do it.
✨ Your healing doesn’t require an audience. But it does deserve your attention.
📩 Book your session today at www.healingmyfeelings.com
Healing from Narcissistic Relationships: A Guide to Understanding, Growth, and Recovery
Healing from Narcissistic Relationships: A Guide to Understanding, Growth, and Recovery
Narcissistic relationships are among the most complex, draining, and damaging connections we can experience. Whether you’re still in one, recently out, or supporting someone navigating this dynamic, the effects can leave you questioning your worth, your instincts, and even your sense of reality. But here’s the truth: healing is not just possible—it’s transformative.
As someone who has been through this journey myself, I’ve learned that the path to recovery isn’t just about leaving the relationship; it’s about reclaiming yourself. This post will offer insight into the narcissistic dynamic, steps toward healing, and tools for both survivors and professionals to better navigate this terrain.
What Makes Narcissistic Relationships So Harmful?
At their core, narcissistic relationships operate on control, manipulation, and emotional neglect. Narcissists often use tactics like gaslighting, love-bombing, and silent treatments to maintain power. Over time, these behaviors erode your self-esteem and create a cycle of dependence.
For those who love a narcissist, the experience is like being in an emotional tug-of-war. They may show moments of charm and vulnerability that make you stay, only to flip the script when you least expect it. You end up walking on eggshells, constantly trying to meet their needs while losing sight of your own.
Professionals working with survivors often hear phrases like:
- “I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
- “I feel like everything is my fault.”
- “I’m terrified of what they’ll do if I leave.”
These statements highlight the profound psychological and emotional toll of these relationships. Understanding the depth of this impact is crucial in providing effective support.
For Those Still in the Relationship
If you’re still in a narcissistic relationship, you might feel stuck or even unsure if what you’re experiencing is abuse. Here are some steps to take:
- Educate Yourself: Learn about narcissistic behaviors and patterns. Knowledge is power and can help you separate their manipulation from your truth.
- Set Boundaries: Start small. Practice saying “no” or expressing your needs, even if it feels uncomfortable.
- Build a Support System: Confide in trusted friends, family, or a professional who understands narcissistic abuse.
- Create an Exit Plan: If leaving feels impossible, start planning for it safely. This might mean saving money, documenting incidents, or seeking legal advice.
For Those on the Other Side
If you’ve left the relationship, first and foremost—congratulations. Walking away from a narcissist takes immense courage. But healing doesn’t end there. Many survivors struggle with guilt, shame, and a loss of identity after leaving.
Here’s how to begin rebuilding:
- Reconnect with Yourself: Journaling, therapy, or working with a coach can help you rediscover who you are outside of the relationship.
- Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Narcissists are masters at planting seeds of self-doubt. Replace those lies with affirmations rooted in your truth.
- Surround Yourself with Positivity: Join support groups or communities of people who understand what you’ve been through. This connection can be a lifeline.
- Seek Professional Help: Healing often requires guidance. Therapists and life coaches trained in narcissistic abuse recovery can provide tools and strategies to rebuild your confidence.
For Professionals Supporting Survivors
Whether you’re a therapist, counselor, or coach, working with survivors of narcissistic relationships requires compassion and a trauma-informed approach. Here’s how you can help:
- Validate Their Experience: Many survivors feel dismissed or misunderstood. Affirm their reality and acknowledge their pain.
- Focus on Empowerment: Shift the narrative from victimhood to resilience. Help clients set goals and regain their autonomy.
- Understand Trauma Responses: Survivors may display hypervigilance, people-pleasing tendencies, or fear of confrontation. Tailor your approach to honor these responses without reinforcing them.
- Encourage Healthy Attachments: Survivors often struggle with trust. Help them navigate relationships that feel safe and mutually supportive.
Healing Together
My own journey through narcissistic abuse led me to become a life coach specializing in this area. I’ve walked this path, felt the despair, and experienced the freedom on the other side. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping others not just survive but thrive.
Whether you’re still in the relationship, newly out, or supporting someone you care about, you don’t have to do this alone. Healing is possible, and it starts with small, intentional steps.
If you’re ready to take the next step, I’d love to help you. I offer personalized coaching sessions tailored to your unique needs, whether you’re navigating the aftermath of a toxic relationship or simply seeking to understand yourself better.
You deserve to heal. You deserve to thrive. You deserve to reclaim your life.
Let’s start this journey together.
Visit Healing My Feelings or email me at Info@healingmyfeelings.com to learn more.
Final Thoughts
Recovery from a narcissistic relationship isn’t easy, but it’s worth every ounce of effort. Remember, healing isn’t about changing the narcissist or understanding their behavior—it’s about rediscovering your strength and rebuilding your life.
To those still in the storm: you are stronger than you know. To those on the other side: your best days are ahead. And to the professionals supporting survivors: your work matters more than you can imagine.
Let’s heal, together.
Unleashing Your Full Potential: Embrace the Extraordinary Within You
Life is an extraordinary journey, filled with twists, turns, challenges, and triumphs. Amidst this whirlwind, there’s a beacon of opportunity that resides within each of us—an untapped reservoir of potential waiting to be unleashed.
Today, I urge you to embrace the extraordinary within you. Stand tall in the face of adversity, for within every setback lies a lesson, a chance for growth, and an opportunity to rise stronger than before.
You are a mosaic of unique experiences, talents, and aspirations. Your journey is not defined by the opinions of others or the limitations you perceive. It’s crafted by your determination, resilience, and the unwavering belief in your capabilities.
Embrace the power of positivity. Let it be the fuel that propels you forward when doubt whispers in your ear. Cultivate a mindset that sees challenges as stepping stones, failures as lessons, and setbacks as setups for incredible comebacks.
Every day is a canvas awaiting your masterpiece. Paint it with purpose, passion, and an unwavering commitment to your dreams. Do not settle for mediocrity when greatness courses through your veins.
Surround yourself with positivity. Seek mentors, allies, and friendships that nourish your spirit, challenge your limits, and inspire you to reach for the stars. Remember, your environment shapes your mindset; choose wisely.
Celebrate your victories, both big and small. Acknowledge the steps you’ve taken, the hurdles you’ve conquered, and the growth you’ve achieved. Each moment of progress is a testament to your dedication and perseverance.
Believe in the power of possibilities. Your dreams are not distant fantasies but potential realities waiting for your commitment and hard work. Let ambition drive your actions, and determination pave the path to success.
In this symphony of life, you hold the baton. Conduct it with passion, purpose, and the unshakable belief that you are destined for greatness. Your journey may have obstacles, but it’s these very challenges that sculpt your character and reveal the strength within you.
So, embrace the extraordinary within you. Dare to dream big, work hard, and above all, believe—believe in yourself, your journey, and the limitless potential that resides within. The world is waiting for the brilliance only you can offer. Seize the day, unleash your full potential, and write a story of triumph that inspires generations to come.
Life Lessons I Wish I Learned Sooner: Healing After Loss, Abuse, and Cancer
Life Lessons I Wish I Learned Sooner
By Christina | Tranquil Balance Life Coaching | www.healingmyfeelings.com
There are lessons life teaches you gently—and then there are the ones that come like a freight train. Mine came through heartbreak, loss, betrayal, and the kind of pain that no one prepares you for.
I wish I could say I learned these things sitting cross-legged in peace, sipping tea with grace. But the truth? I learned them face-down in the dirt, clawing my way through grief, emotional abuse, and a cancer diagnosis that changed everything.
So here they are—the lessons I wish I’d known sooner… but now that I do, I live and lead by them:
1. Love doesn’t mean staying—especially when it’s breaking you.
I once believed that loving harder could fix what was broken. That if I just stayed, stayed loyal, stayed patient, it would all work out.
But no amount of love can heal someone who refuses to confront their own wounds. I lost parts of myself trying to save someone who was drowning and pulling me under with them.
Leaving wasn’t giving up. It was finally choosing me.
2. Grief has no timeline, and it doesn’t ask for permission.
When David died, it was like the world shifted off its axis. I didn’t just lose a person—I lost a future, a sense of normalcy, and a piece of my heart I’ll never get back.
Some days I laugh. Some days I cry while folding laundry. That’s grief—it’s not linear, and it doesn’t care how “strong” you think you are.
I wish someone had told me that healing isn’t about forgetting—it’s about making room for both love and loss to exist.
3. Strength isn’t about pretending you’re okay—it’s about surviving when you’re not.
Cancer stripped me down to the rawest version of myself. Suddenly, strength wasn’t about hustle—it was about surrender.
It was choosing to show up for one more doctor’s appointment. It was crying in the shower and still answering the next client call.
Strength isn’t loud—it’s quiet, steady, and often unseen.
4. You don’t have to keep proving your worth to people who refuse to see it.
For years, I tried to earn love by shrinking myself. I kept peace at the expense of my own peace.
But here’s the thing: no amount of explaining yourself will ever be enough for someone committed to misunderstanding you.
Your worth isn’t up for debate, and you don’t owe anyone a performance.
5. Your pain isn’t your identity—but it will shape your purpose.
Every scar I carry, every sleepless night, every moment I wanted to give up—it all became part of the mission.
Not because I asked for it, but because I refused to let it define me.
I turned it into fuel. Into compassion. Into coaching rooms where others finally feel seen.
My pain cracked me open, but purpose is what grew from those broken places.
If you’re reading this and feeling like life keeps kicking you while you’re already down—breathe.
You’re not broken. You’re being broken open.
There’s power on the other side of this pain. There’s purpose, too.
And if no one’s told you lately—
You’re allowed to leave what hurts.
You’re allowed to grieve out loud.
You’re allowed to start over.
And most of all—
You’re allowed to be proud of how far you’ve come… even if you’re still healing.
Need support? I’m here. This isn’t just my job—it’s my calling.
Book a free consultation or learn more about healing from narcissistic abuse, codependency, and trauma at www.healingmyfeelings.com.
You’re not alone anymore.
Breaking Free from Codependency: Steps Toward a Healthier You
Have you ever found yourself putting someone else’s needs above your own, to the point where you lose sight of who you really are? Or maybe you feel like you’re constantly giving, but somehow not getting the support or love you deserve in return? If this sounds familiar, you might be caught in the grip of codependency.
Codependency isn’t just about being overly attached to someone—it’s about losing your sense of self in the process of trying to please, care for, or fix others. Recognizing codependency is the first step toward reclaiming your life and rediscovering your own needs, boundaries, and desires.
What is Codependency? At its core, codependency is an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person sacrifices their own well-being to meet the needs of another. It often happens in relationships where one person may struggle with addiction, emotional turmoil, or narcissism, and the other becomes overly responsible for their partner’s emotions and actions.
If you’re codependent, you may:
- Feel like you need to “save” others from their problems
- Struggle with setting boundaries
- Often put your own needs on the backburner for fear of upsetting others
- Feel anxious or guilty when you try to focus on your own well-being
But here’s the thing: breaking free from codependency isn’t about abandoning the people you care about—it’s about finding a balance that allows you to care for yourself too.
How to Start the Healing Process
- Acknowledge the Pattern The first step is often the hardest: recognizing that you might be in a codependent dynamic. This can be challenging because it often feels like you’re just being loving or helpful. Ask yourself: Am I losing myself in this relationship? Am I feeling drained or neglected? These questions can help you gain clarity.
- Set Healthy Boundaries Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away; it’s about protecting your energy and well-being. Start small—whether it’s saying “no” when you need to or setting limits on how much you give emotionally. Boundaries are an essential part of building a healthy relationship with yourself and others.
- Reconnect with Yourself Remember who you are outside of your relationships. Spend time doing things that nurture you—whether it’s a hobby you’ve neglected, a self-care routine, or just some quiet time alone. When you prioritize your own needs, you can show up as a stronger, more grounded version of yourself.
- Seek Support You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Whether through therapy, support groups, or a life coach, there are people who can help you process the emotions tied to codependency. The more support you have, the more empowered you’ll feel to make lasting changes.
- Practice Self-Compassion Healing takes time, and you may face setbacks along the way. Be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge the progress you’ve made and remind yourself that you’re worthy of love and respect—just as you are.
Codependency doesn’t have to define your relationships. By setting boundaries, reconnecting with yourself, and seeking support, you can break free from the cycle and create healthier, more fulfilling connections. Remember, you deserve love, care, and attention—not just from others, but from yourself too.
Are you ready to take the first step toward healing and reclaiming your life? It’s never too late to start.
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