Category: Healing & Recovery
Healing from Toxic Relationships: Finding True Love Again
Getting out of a toxic relationship is one thing—learning to trust again and finding healthy, lasting love is another. If you’ve ever wondered, “Will I ever find real love after everything I’ve been through?”—you’re not alone.
The truth is, attracting the love you deserve isn’t about luck, a perfect dating strategy, or even finding the “right” person. It starts with you.
In this guide, we’ll walk through the key shifts you need to make to break free from toxic relationship patterns, build unshakable confidence, and open yourself up to the kind of love that feels safe, mutual, and fulfilling.
Why Finding Love After a Toxic Relationship Feels So Hard
If you’re struggling to move forward after a toxic relationship, you’re not imagining things. Emotional wounds don’t just disappear when the relationship ends—they often leave behind deep-rooted fears, self-doubt, and subconscious patterns that make it hard to trust again.
Here’s why so many successful, intelligent women find themselves stuck when it comes to love:
1. You’re Attracted to What Feels Familiar
Even if your last relationship was painful, it felt familiar—and the brain is wired to seek what it knows. This is why many women unknowingly repeat toxic relationship patterns, despite wanting something different.
2. You Have Hidden Beliefs About Love and Worth
If deep down you believe love has to be earned, or that you have to prove your worth to be loved, you’ll keep attracting partners who reinforce those beliefs—no matter how much you consciously want something different.
3. Fear of Getting Hurt Again Holds You Back
If you’ve been betrayed, manipulated, or emotionally drained in the past, it’s natural to put up walls to protect yourself. The problem? Those same walls can keep out the love and connection you do want.
But here’s the good news: You can rewire these patterns and create a new reality in love. Let’s talk about how.
Step 1: Heal the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
Attracting real love starts with identifying and breaking free from subconscious patterns that no longer serve you.
Recognize Your Relationship Blueprint
Your early experiences with love—whether from childhood or past relationships—shape your subconscious beliefs about what love should feel like. Ask yourself:
✔️ What patterns do I notice in my past relationships?
✔️ Do I feel like I have to prove my worth to be loved?
✔️ Have I ignored red flags in the past just to feel wanted?
Bringing these patterns into awareness is the first step to shifting them.
Rewire Limiting Beliefs
If you’ve spent years in toxic relationships, your subconscious may have picked up false narratives like:
- “I attract the wrong people.”
- “Love means sacrifice.”
- “I’m too much / not enough.”
These beliefs keep you stuck in old cycles—but they can be reprogrammed.
One powerful way to shift these beliefs is through subconscious work.
Step 2: Build Unshakable Confidence in Love
Attracting a healthy partner starts with becoming the kind of woman who naturally attracts respect, love, and care.
1. Set Higher Standards Without Fear
Many women stay in toxic relationships because they’re afraid they won’t find better. The key? Knowing your worth and refusing to settle.
Ask yourself:
- What are my non-negotiables in a relationship?
- Am I willing to walk away from anything less?
2. Shift From “I Need Someone” to “I Choose Someone”
The healthiest relationships happen when you don’t need someone to complete you—you’re already whole, and a relationship is just a bonus.
Instead of focusing on “finding” someone, focus on:
✔️ Creating a life you love.
✔️ Strengthening friendships and support systems.
✔️ Enjoying your own company.
Step 3: Open Yourself Up to Healthy Love
Once you’ve done the inner work, it’s time to step into the next phase of your love life—one where you attract a partner who respects, values, and cherishes you.
1. Date With Clarity and Confidence
When you know your worth, you stop wasting time on the wrong people. Instead of dating from a place of fear or loneliness, you’ll naturally attract and choose people who align with the love you deserve.
💡 Pro Tip: Don’t just ask, “Do they like me?” Instead, ask: “Do I like the way I feel around them?”
2. Trust Your Intuition, Not Just Chemistry
Attraction alone isn’t enough. Pay attention to:
✔️ How does this person treat me over time?
✔️ Do they respect my boundaries?
✔️ Do I feel safe being my true self around them?
Chemistry without emotional safety leads to the same toxic cycles—so choose wisely.
Conclusion: You Are Meant for Real Love
Finding love after a toxic relationship isn’t just possible—it’s inevitable when you commit to healing, raising your standards, and choosing yourself first.
You don’t have to settle. You don’t have to repeat the past. The love you want is out there—and it starts with the love you give yourself.
Positive Traits Point Out Our Purpose
You have a purpose in life that you may not, as yet, have realized!
Positive traits of your personality may be the key to unlocking the mystery of your own personal
lifestyle and destiny in this lifetime.
- If nothing negative existed to hold you back, the strong points would automatically become even stronger, as your mind would be more concentrated on good.
- If you also reinforced your positive characteristics with the practice of Metaphysical Science, they would become stronger still, and your ability to achieve would soar.
- Your positive traits are the key to your destiny. They point out what nature has best equipped you to do in this life.
- You must realize at what you excel, around which you can adjust and build an appropriate lifestyle.
Let the present be the only reality upon which you are building your future.
When Hope Becomes an Addiction in Toxic Relationships
Hope is often seen as a virtue, a beacon of light that guides us through the darkest times. From childhood, we are taught that hope is always a good thing—that if we just believe hard enough, things will eventually get better. What happens when hope becomes an addiction—an anchor that keeps us tethered to toxic, abusive relationships? For many who struggle with codependency, people-pleasing, or deep-seated fears of abandonment, hope can morph into a trap, keeping them in cycles of pain and disappointment.
When Hope Becomes a Trap
In a healthy context, hope is about looking forward to positive possibilities, but in a toxic relationship, it can become a survival mechanism. Those entangled in abusive or one-sided relationships often cling to the hope that things will change, that the person who hurts them will one day realize their mistakes and treat them with the love and respect they deserve. This kind of hyper-hope overrides reality, making it difficult to walk away even when all evidence suggests that leaving is the only way to heal.
Hope, when misplaced, becomes a way to justify mistreatment. It convinces us to endure pain in anticipation of a better future that never arrives. This is how hope becomes addictive—feeding the cycle of waiting, tolerating, and staying stuck.
As a coach, I hear about this battle with hope from my clients every day. It is the biggest struggle they face—knowing deep down that their situation is harmful but feeling completely unable to detach because hope keeps whispering, maybe this time things will change. The weight of this hope is immense, making even the thought of leaving feel unbearable.
Codependency and the Illusion of Change
Codependency thrives on hope. Those who struggle with codependent tendencies often believe that if they just love harder, sacrifice more, or fix the other person, they can turn the relationship into what they dream it to be. They see potential instead of reality and invest their entire emotional world into the idea that things could improve. This belief is reinforced when abusers throw breadcrumbs—small moments of kindness, apologies, or fleeting promises of change—giving just enough to keep the hope alive.
This addiction to hope can be so consuming that leaving feels impossible. The idea of giving up on the dream, of accepting that change will not come, feels more unbearable than the abuse itself.
People-Pleasing and the Fear of Disappointing Others
People-pleasers struggle to walk away because they fear being seen as cruel, selfish, or heartless. They hold onto hope because letting go means accepting that they cannot make everyone happy. Many have been conditioned to believe that their worth is tied to how much they can endure for others, so they stay, hoping their patience and kindness will eventually be rewarded.
This hyper-hope paralyses them, making it difficult to prioritize their own well-being. The fear of hurting someone else—even someone who has repeatedly hurt them—keeps them locked in toxic dynamics far beyond their breaking point.
Abandonment Wounds and the Desperation for Connection
For those with deep abandonment wounds, the idea of cutting ties feels like self-inflicted pain. The longing to be chosen, loved, or validated fuels the addiction to hope. They would rather hold onto a broken relationship than risk feeling unworthy, alone, or forgotten.
This desperation makes them more susceptible to manipulation. Abusers sense this fear and exploit it, using false hope to maintain control. They know just when to apologize, when to offer a sliver of affection, and when to pull away—keeping their victims in a state of constant emotional hunger. This was my overwhelming reason for staying in abusive relationships and I was absolutely addicted to hope.
Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope
Healing requires recognizing that misplaced hope is not love—it is a survival mechanism that no longer serves us. Breaking free from this cycle means:
- Accepting Reality Over Potential – A person’s actions speak louder than their words or your dreams of who they could be. If they have shown you time and again that they will not change, believe them.
- Understanding That Hope Is Not a Strategy – Hope does not heal wounds, change people, or turn toxic love into healthy love. It is not your responsibility to stay in harm’s way just because you believe things could be different.
- Learning to Sit with Discomfort – Walking away will feel painful. The addiction to hope creates withdrawal symptoms—grief, self-doubt, loneliness. But these feelings are temporary, whereas staying in a toxic relationship only guarantees prolonged suffering.
- Reclaiming Your Power – Instead of hoping for someone else to change, redirect that energy into yourself. Hope for your future, your growth, your healing. Placing hope in yourself, rather than someone who continues to hurt you, may feel unfamiliar at first, but it is the most powerful shift you can make.
Hope, in its truest form, should not be a chain but a set of wings. When we free ourselves from the addiction of false hope, we open ourselves to the possibility of a life where love, respect, and happiness are not things we desperately wait for but things we create for ourselves.
It is time to break the cycle and choose you.
Journal Prompts to Break Through Toxic Hope
- What do I hope will change if I stay in this relationship, and what evidence do I have that the change I am hoping for is actually happening?
- How has holding onto hope affected my emotional and mental well-being? Has it empowered me or kept me stuck?
- If I let go of hope that this person will change, what emotions come up for me? What do these emotions tell me about my fears?
- Have I ever ignored red flags or excused harmful behaviour because I hoped things would get better? What was the outcome?
- What would my life look like if I placed hope in myself and my future instead of waiting for someone else to change?
You can begin your healing by claiming your Discovery Call
Breaking the Cycle – Why Love Addiction Isn’t Love
When people hear the term “love addiction,” the immediate reaction is often confusion or even denial. After all, isn’t love supposed to feel all-consuming?
Isn’t that rush part of the magic? The problem is, when that rush is rooted in trauma, chaos, or the desperate need for validation, it’s not love — it’s addiction.
And it’s far more common than we admit.
As a trauma-informed life coach and someone who has survived the darkest kinds of betrayal, I’ve come to learn this the hard way. Love addiction is the attachment to fantasy over reality, the addiction to potential over presence, and the chase for emotional highs over mutual, regulated connection. It mimics the cycles of substance addiction — withdrawal, relapse, euphoric highs, unbearable lows.
The Root of the Pattern
Love addiction doesn’t start in adulthood. It begins in childhood. When affection was inconsistent, conditional, or absent, our nervous systems learned that “love” was earned through hyper-vigilance, people-pleasing, or becoming the emotional caretaker.
We became addicted to chasing love that mirrored the pain we grew up with because our nervous systems mistook it for home.
This isn’t weakness. It’s programming.
The chemical cocktail our brain produces when we’re caught in an addictive love cycle is similar to those produced in substance abuse. Dopamine spikes from intermittent reinforcement.
Oxytocin floods during false intimacy. Cortisol rises during the inevitable abandonment or conflict.
And yet, we go back. Again and again.
Not because we’re stupid. But because we’re wired.
Love Addiction vs Real Love
Real love is not a high. It’s not anxiety. It’s not obsessively checking your phone, sacrificing your boundaries, or falling into despair when someone pulls away.
Real love feels like security. Like calm. Like peace.
So many of us mistake our own people-pleasing tendencies as love. We think:
If I love harder, they’ll stay.
If I shrink myself, they’ll choose me.
If I forgive everything, that must mean I’m strong.
That’s not love. That’s self-abandonment.
And every time we betray our truth to earn someone else’s attention, we reinforce a lie: that we must suffer to be worthy.
Accountability as Empowerment
There’s a moment in the healing process that requires brutal honesty. Not blame. Not shame. But radical accountability.
Ask yourself:
What part of me is addicted to chaos?
What feelings do I crave because they distract me from feeling my core wounds?
What relationships do I chase that keep me from confronting myself?
These are not easy questions. But they’re necessary if you want to break the cycle.
How to Start Healing
1. Acknowledge the Pattern – Call it what it is. Not love. Addiction.
2. Get Support – Coaching, therapy, and group spaces like Anchored Connections can help regulate and rewire your nervous system.
3. Reparent Your Inner Child – Speak to yourself with compassion. Become the source of the stability you’ve always longed for.
4. Set Boundaries – The ones who leave when you do this are showing you who was feeding your addiction, not your heart.
You’re not needy. You’re rewiring. And today, you start.
Ready to face your mirror? book a private session at http://www.healingmyfeelings.com.
Shadow Work & Spiritual Warfare – The Side of Healing No One Talks About
Everyone loves to talk about healing. But few people talk about what it really feels like to do it.
Healing isn’t just crystals, ceremonies, or self-care Sundays. Sometimes, it’s grief that shakes your bones. Sometimes, it’s screaming into a pillow. Sometimes, it’s confronting the ugliest parts of yourself: the jealous part, the vengeful part, the insecure part, and realizing they didn’t come from nowhere.
They were shaped by pain. Inherited from lineage. Forged in trauma. Pretending they don’t exist in the name of “love and light” is not healing. It’s hiding.
Love and Light Without Accountability is Avoidance
Let’s be clear: love and light are beautiful, but if they are used to suppress shadow, we’re no longer practicing spirituality — we’re bypassing reality.
Spiritual bypassing is when you use affirmations to skip grief.
It’s when you use forgiveness to avoid boundaries.
It’s when you meditate, but don’t apologize.
Alignment, on the other hand, is a practice of both: the divine and the difficult.
Shadow Work is Sacred Confrontation
Shadow work isn’t a trend. It’s spiritual warfare with your own unconscious.
It’s not about “fixing” your darkness. It’s about owning it.
When you deny your shadow, it runs the show from the backseat, but when you meet it, you can integrate it…And integration is where liberation begins.
Try this prompt:
“What shadow did I inherit… and what did I choose to carry?”
Write until your hand cramps.
Then read it back.
Sit in it.
This is your truth.
Healing is Not Aesthetic
Real healing is:
Saying, “I was wrong.”
Walking away even when you’re lonely.
Telling the truth, even if your voice shakes.
Feeling ugly emotions without shame.
It’s not Instagrammable. It’s internal. And it’s holy.
Your Spirit Deserves Truth, Not Performance
If you’ve been told you’re too intense, too deep, too much — good.
You were never meant to perform healing. You were meant to live it.
We don’t ascend by avoiding our humanity. We ascend by embracing it with accountability.
So go ahead. Get angry. Get real. Then get aligned.
Ready to dive into the real work? Book a healing session
The Day My World Shattered — And How I Rose from It
There are moments in life that don’t just hurt—they split you wide open.
For me, that moment was the day I lost my mother to murder. No words can fully explain the way your soul leaves your body when you hear that kind of news. It’s the kind of trauma that steals your breath, unearths your faith, and makes time stop. In that instant, I wasn’t just a daughter mourning a mother—I was a woman faced with a devastating truth: life as I knew it would never be the same.
The grief wasn’t linear. It was tidal. Some days I was silent. Other days I screamed at the sky. And yet, within the darkest depth of that pain, I discovered something that would change the trajectory of my life forever: the choice to turn pain into purpose.
I could’ve folded. Many do. But I chose to rise—not just for myself, but for every person who’s ever been shattered by something that felt impossible to survive.
That loss led me to seek deeper meaning in every experience. It propelled me into holistic healing, trauma recovery, and spiritual counseling. It taught me how to walk with those grieving invisible wounds. And eventually, it allowed me to create Tranquil Balance—a life coaching practice that gives others the very thing I needed most: a safe place to be held, seen, and healed.
If you’ve ever faced a pain that made you question everything… I want you to know this: you’re not broken—you’re becoming. Your trauma doesn’t disqualify you. If anything, it gives you depth, discernment, and divine empathy.
I’m not here just because I studied psychology, attachment theory, or divinity. I’m here because I lived it. I clawed my way back from the edge. I stitched my life together with prayer, therapy, and community. And now, I offer that same hand to others who are still in the storm.
This pain? It didn’t destroy me. It revealed me.
And if you’re ready, I’ll help you find what your pain came to reveal too.
Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope Healing
I was absolutely addicted to hope.
Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope Healing requires recognizing that misplaced hope is not love—it is a survival mechanism that no longer serves us. Breaking free from this cycle means:
Accepting Reality Over Potential – A person’s actions speak louder than their words or your dreams of who they could be. If they have shown you time and again that they will not change, believe them.
Understanding That Hope Is Not a Strategy – Hope does not heal wounds, change people, or turn toxic love into healthy love. It is not your responsibility to stay in harm’s way just because you believe things could be different.
Learning to Sit with Discomfort – Walking away will feel painful. The addiction to hope creates withdrawal symptoms—grief, self-doubt, loneliness. These feelings are temporary, whereas staying in a toxic relationship only guarantees prolonged suffering.
Reclaiming Your Power – Instead of hoping for someone else to change, redirect that energy into yourself. Hope for your future, your growth, your healing. Placing hope in yourself, rather than someone who continues to hurt you, may feel unfamiliar at first, but it is the most powerful shift you can make.
Hope, in its truest form, should not be a chain but a set of wings. When we free ourselves from the addiction of false hope, we open ourselves to the possibility of a life where love, respect, and happiness are not things we desperately wait for but things we create for ourselves.
It is time to break the cycle and choose you
.Journal Prompts to Break Through Toxic Hope
What do I hope will change if I stay in this relationship, and what evidence do I have that the change I am hoping for is actually happening?
*How has holding onto hope affected my emotional and mental well-being?
*Has it empowered me or kept me stuck?
*If I let go of hope that this person will change, what emotions come up for me?
*What do these emotions tell me about my fears?
*Have I ever ignored red flags or excused harmful behavior because I hoped things would get better?
What was the outcome?
*What would my life look like if I placed hope in myself and my future instead of waiting for someone else to change?
The Addiction of Hope: How It Keeps Us Stuck in Toxic Relationships
Hope is often seen as a virtue, a beacon of light that guides us through the darkest times. From childhood, we are taught that hope is always a good thing—that if we just believe hard enough, things will eventually get better. What happens when hope becomes an addiction—an anchor that keeps us tethered to toxic, abusive relationships? For many who struggle with codependency, people-pleasing, or deep-seated fears of abandonment, hope can morph into a trap, keeping them in cycles of pain and disappointment.
When Hope Becomes a Trap
In a healthy context, hope is about looking forward to positive possibilities, but in a toxic relationship, it can become a survival mechanism. Those entangled in abusive or one-sided relationships often cling to the hope that things will change, that the person who hurts them will one day realize their mistakes and treat them with the love and respect they deserve. This kind of hyper-hope overrides reality, making it difficult to walk away even when all evidence suggests that leaving is the only way to heal.
Hope, when misplaced, becomes a way to justify mistreatment. It convinces us to endure pain in anticipation of a better future that never arrives. This is how hope becomes addictive—feeding the cycle of waiting, tolerating, and staying stuck.
As a coach, I hear about this battle with hope from my clients every day. It is the biggest struggle they face—knowing deep down that their situation is harmful but feeling completely unable to detach because hope keeps whispering, maybe this time things will change. The weight of this hope is immense, making even the thought of leaving feel unbearable.
Codependency and the Illusion of Change
Codependency thrives on hope. Those who struggle with codependent tendencies often believe that if they just love harder, sacrifice more, or fix the other person, they can turn the relationship into what they dream it to be. They see potential instead of reality and invest their entire emotional world into the idea that things could improve. This belief is reinforced when abusers throw breadcrumbs—small moments of kindness, apologies, or fleeting promises of change—giving just enough to keep the hope alive.
This addiction to hope can be so consuming that leaving feels impossible. The idea of giving up on the dream, of accepting that change will not come, feels more unbearable than the abuse itself.
People-Pleasing and the Fear of Disappointing Others
People-pleasers struggle to walk away because they fear being seen as cruel, selfish, or heartless. They hold onto hope because letting go means accepting that they cannot make everyone happy. Many have been conditioned to believe that their worth is tied to how much they can endure for others, so they stay, hoping their patience and kindness will eventually be rewarded.
This hyper-hope paralysis them, making it difficult to prioritize their own well-being. The fear of hurting someone else—even someone who has repeatedly hurt them—keeps them locked in toxic dynamics far beyond their breaking point.
Abandonment Wounds and the Desperation for Connection
For those with deep abandonment wounds, the idea of cutting ties feels like self-inflicted pain. The longing to be chosen, loved, or validated fuels the addiction to hope. They would rather hold onto a broken relationship than risk feeling unworthy, alone, or forgotten.
This desperation makes them more susceptible to manipulation. Abusers sense this fear and exploit it, using false hope to maintain control. They know just when to apologize, when to offer a sliver of affection, and when to pull away—keeping their victims in a state of constant emotional hunger. This was my overwhelming reason for staying in abusive relationships and I was absolutely addicted to hope.
Breaking Free from the Addiction of Hope
Healing requires recognizing that misplaced hope is not love—it is a survival mechanism that no longer serves us. Breaking free from this cycle means:
- Accepting Reality Over Potential – A person’s actions speak louder than their words or your dreams of who they could be. If they have shown you time and again that they will not change, believe them.
- Understanding That Hope Is Not a Strategy – Hope does not heal wounds, change people, or turn toxic love into healthy love. It is not your responsibility to stay in harm’s way just because you believe things could be different.
- Learning to Sit with Discomfort – Walking away will feel painful. The addiction to hope creates withdrawal symptoms—grief, self-doubt, loneliness. But these feelings are temporary, whereas staying in a toxic relationship only guarantees prolonged suffering.
- Reclaiming Your Power – Instead of hoping for someone else to change, redirect that energy into yourself. Hope for your future, your growth, your healing. Placing hope in yourself, rather than someone who continues to hurt you, may feel unfamiliar at first, but it is the most powerful shift you can make.
Hope, in its truest form, should not be a chain but a set of wings. When we free ourselves from the addiction of false hope, we open ourselves to the possibility of a life where love, respect, and happiness are not things we desperately wait for but things we create for ourselves.
It is time to break the cycle and choose you.
Journal Prompts to Break Through Toxic Hope
- What do I hope will change if I stay in this relationship, and what evidence do I have that the change I am hoping for is actually happening?
- How has holding onto hope affected my emotional and mental well-being? Has it empowered me or kept me stuck?
- If I let go of hope that this person will change, what emotions come up for me? What do these emotions tell me about my fears?
- Have I ever ignored red flags or excused harmful behavior because I hoped things would get better? What was the outcome?
- What would my life look like if I placed hope in myself and my future instead of waiting for someone else to change?
🌿The God Complex: A Throne Built on Insecurity
“You can always tell who the real king is… they’re too busy building to bother tearing others down.”
“The God Complex: When Self-Reflection is the One Thing Missing from Your Throne”
It’s fascinating how often the people who cry “God Complex!” are the very ones unknowingly wearing the crown themselves.
Lately, I’ve heard the term thrown my way — with the kind of conviction that tells me it wasn’t meant to spark conversation, but to shut it down. So, let’s talk about it. If I’m being accused of something, I’d like to at least make sure we’re all on the same page about what that actually means.
What is a God Complex, Really?
A true God Complex involves an inflated sense of self, an inability to acknowledge one’s own flaws, and the belief that they are always right — beyond reproach, above accountability. It shows up as dominance masked as leadership, control disguised as care, and manipulation dressed up as “help.”
It’s not confidence.
It’s not clarity.
It’s not standing up for yourself.
It’s not having standards.
It’s the absence of humility. The inability to say, “Maybe I got this one wrong.” It’s the refusal to apologize or consider another perspective because, well… why would a “god” need to?
Accountability vs. Arrogance
Here’s the thing: when someone sets boundaries, articulates their needs, or holds up a mirror — that’s not a god complex. That’s called emotional maturity. That’s called doing the work. Owning your story. Healing your wounds. And yes, it may feel intimidating to those who are still running from their own reflection.
You see, accountability is often mistaken for arrogance by people who have none.
It’s the easiest cop-out for someone who doesn’t want to face their own behavior: label the person challenging you as “difficult,” “too much,” or “thinking they’re better than everyone.” That way, they never have to look at the role they’re playing.
Convenient, isn’t it?
Projection: The Real Deity at Play
Psychology calls it projection: when a person attributes their own unacceptable qualities or feelings onto someone else. You might say things like,
“You always think you’re right,”
when deep down, it’s you who never listens.
Or perhaps you accuse someone of being controlling, while simultaneously dictating the terms of every conversation, deciding whose feelings matter and whose don’t.
It’s funny how the loudest accusations often say more about the accuser than the accused.
Spoiler Alert: I Don’t Have a God Complex — But I Do Have Standards
I don’t claim to be perfect. In fact, I pride myself on being deeply human. Flawed. Learning. Always open to feedback — but not to gaslighting…and there’s a difference.
I won’t apologize for having self-worth. For using my voice. For expecting mutual respect and effort. That’s not a complex; that’s self-respect.
I know it can feel easier to villainize someone who’s leveled up than to admit you’re still stuck in the same chapter — rereading the same excuses, blaming the same people.
The Irony of Misdiagnosis
Here’s the part that stings (if you’re ready for a little truth serum):
The person so quick to diagnose someone else with a god complex often does so because they can’t handle not being the center of the universe themselves.
The need to always be right. The inability to receive critique. The defensiveness when called out. The chronic “But what about me?” energy.
That’s not me. Boy, it sure does sound familiar.
A Little Reminder for the Reader Who Might Be Feeling This One Personally
I see the potential in people. I believe in redemption arcs. One thing I won’t do is water myself down to be palatable for someone who hasn’t done their own work.
When you dismiss, deflect, and blame — you’re not just pushing me away, you’re robbing yourself of someone extraordinary.
That’s the thing about crowns:
Some are earned through integrity.
Others are just imaginary, placed on the head by the person who fears they might otherwise be… ordinary.
You can call it whatever you want.
But at the end of the day — I’m still over here, healing, growing, thriving, and shining.
Whether you choose to see it or not doesn’t dim my light.
It just means you’re standing too far in the shadows.
With love, clarity, and just enough sass,
Christina Stuller
Life Coach • Counselor • Radical Accountability Advocate
healingmyfeelings.com | Info@healingmyfeelings.com
If this hit home — good. Growth is uncomfortable. But here’s the thing:
I’m not here to tear anyone down. I’m here to elevate, empower, and embody the healing I offer to others every single day.
I won’t lower my standards to make someone else feel taller.
If you’re ready to explore what true self-awareness and accountability look like (and drop the blame game), I invite you to join me for a free 45-minute consultation. Let’s talk about healing, about truth, about how to reclaim your power — without stepping on anyone else to do it.
✨ Your healing doesn’t require an audience. But it does deserve your attention.
📩 Book your session today at www.healingmyfeelings.com
