Tag: narcissistic abuse

Healing from Narcissistic Relationships, Codependency & Attachment Trauma

Heal from narcissistic abuse, codependency, and attachment trauma. Learn how to rebuild self-worth, set boundaries, and reclaim your life with Tranquil Balance.

Breaking Free:

Why We Stay in Toxic Relationships

If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why do I keep ending up with narcissists?” or “Why do I lose myself in relationships?”—you’re not alone.

When I first began studying narcissistic abuse and codependency, I realized something powerful: these patterns don’t happen by accident. They’re often rooted in attachment trauma from childhood—homes where love was conditional, emotions were dismissed, or boundaries weren’t respected.

One client once shared, “I thought if I loved harder, they would finally love me back.” That belief kept her trapped in cycles of over-giving and heartbreak until she learned how to rebuild her self-worth. Stories like hers are not unique—they’re the reality for many survivors.

What Codependency Really Looks Like

Codependency is more than “being too nice.” It’s a survival strategy. Common signs include:

  • Difficulty saying “no”
  • Prioritizing others over yourself
  • Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions
  • Anxiety when someone pulls away
  • Believing your worth depends on keeping others happy

At its core, codependency is self-abandonment—trading your needs, voice, and identity for a false sense of love or security.

The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse

Narcissistic abuse often begins with love bombing—lavish attention and promises of forever. Over time it shifts into:

  • Gaslighting: Making you question your own reality.
  • Devaluation: Withdrawing affection or respect.
  • Control: Criticism, manipulation, or isolation.

For a codependent, this feels like home—familiar, even if painful. That’s what makes it so difficult to leave.

How Attachment Styles Shape Your Relationships

Your attachment style is the invisible blueprint behind your relationship patterns:

  • Anxious Attachment → over-giving, fear of abandonment, needing constant reassurance.
  • Avoidant Attachment → fear of intimacy, emotional distancing, shutting down.
  • Disorganized Attachment → a mix of both—wanting closeness but fearing it at the same time.

The good news? Attachment wounds can heal. Moving toward secure attachment means relationships that are mutual, safe, and fulfilling.

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5 Steps to Reclaim Your Power After Narcissistic Abuse

Healing takes courage, but these five steps can help you rebuild from the inside out:

  1. Name the Pattern
    Awareness is power. Label gaslighting, love bombing, or people-pleasing for what they are so you can break denial.
  2. Rebuild Self-Worth
    Journaling, affirmations, and shadow work help you reconnect with your authentic self. Healing is remembering who you were before you were told you weren’t enough.
  3. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
    Boundaries are not walls—they are self-respect. Saying “no” is an act of protection, not punishment.
  4. Heal Attachment Wounds
    Through inner child work, therapy, or coaching, you can release old stories that kept you stuck in toxic cycles.
  5. Find Safe Support
    Healing isn’t meant to be done alone. Accountability and compassion from a trusted coach, therapist, or support group accelerate recovery.

Why Healing Is Hard—And Worth It

Leaving a narcissistic or codependent relationship is only step one. The deeper work is unlearning the false beliefs that kept you there: “I’m not enough,” “I have to fix them,” “Love means sacrifice.”

Healing is worth it because you stop repeating cycles. You stop chasing approval. You stop mistaking crumbs for love.

Instead, you begin to:

  • Trust yourself again
  • Attract healthier relationships
  • Live from your authentic worth

One client put it best: “I thought leaving was the end of my story. But healing was the beginning of my freedom.”

Resources for Further Healing

If you’d like to explore more, here are helpful resources:

Share Your Story

Your journey matters. Have you experienced codependency or narcissistic abuse? What step in healing has been the hardest—or most rewarding—for you?

💬 Share your thoughts in the comments below. You never know who your story might inspire.

🌿 Start Your Healing Journey with Tranquil Balance

You don’t have to figure this out alone. At Tranquil Balance Life Coaching, I help survivors of narcissistic abuse and codependency:

  • Break free from toxic cycles
  • Heal attachment wounds and inner child pain
  • Rebuild self-worth and boundaries
  • Step into secure, authentic love

✨ Schedule your free consultation today at www.healingmyfeelings.com

Because surviving is not enough—you deserve to thrive.

Life Lessons I Wish I Learned Sooner: Healing After Loss, Abuse, and Cancer

Life Lessons I Wish I Learned Sooner
By Christina | Tranquil Balance Life Coaching | www.healingmyfeelings.com

There are lessons life teaches you gently—and then there are the ones that come like a freight train. Mine came through heartbreak, loss, betrayal, and the kind of pain that no one prepares you for.

I wish I could say I learned these things sitting cross-legged in peace, sipping tea with grace. But the truth? I learned them face-down in the dirt, clawing my way through grief, emotional abuse, and a cancer diagnosis that changed everything.

So here they are—the lessons I wish I’d known sooner… but now that I do, I live and lead by them:

1. Love doesn’t mean staying—especially when it’s breaking you.
I once believed that loving harder could fix what was broken. That if I just stayed, stayed loyal, stayed patient, it would all work out.
But no amount of love can heal someone who refuses to confront their own wounds. I lost parts of myself trying to save someone who was drowning and pulling me under with them.
Leaving wasn’t giving up. It was finally choosing me.

2. Grief has no timeline, and it doesn’t ask for permission.
When David died, it was like the world shifted off its axis. I didn’t just lose a person—I lost a future, a sense of normalcy, and a piece of my heart I’ll never get back.
Some days I laugh. Some days I cry while folding laundry. That’s grief—it’s not linear, and it doesn’t care how “strong” you think you are.
I wish someone had told me that healing isn’t about forgetting—it’s about making room for both love and loss to exist.

3. Strength isn’t about pretending you’re okay—it’s about surviving when you’re not.
Cancer stripped me down to the rawest version of myself. Suddenly, strength wasn’t about hustle—it was about surrender.
It was choosing to show up for one more doctor’s appointment. It was crying in the shower and still answering the next client call.
Strength isn’t loud—it’s quiet, steady, and often unseen.

4. You don’t have to keep proving your worth to people who refuse to see it.
For years, I tried to earn love by shrinking myself. I kept peace at the expense of my own peace.
But here’s the thing: no amount of explaining yourself will ever be enough for someone committed to misunderstanding you.
Your worth isn’t up for debate, and you don’t owe anyone a performance.

5. Your pain isn’t your identity—but it will shape your purpose.
Every scar I carry, every sleepless night, every moment I wanted to give up—it all became part of the mission.
Not because I asked for it, but because I refused to let it define me.
I turned it into fuel. Into compassion. Into coaching rooms where others finally feel seen.
My pain cracked me open, but purpose is what grew from those broken places.

If you’re reading this and feeling like life keeps kicking you while you’re already down—breathe.
You’re not broken. You’re being broken open.
There’s power on the other side of this pain. There’s purpose, too.

And if no one’s told you lately—
You’re allowed to leave what hurts.
You’re allowed to grieve out loud.
You’re allowed to start over.
And most of all—
You’re allowed to be proud of how far you’ve come… even if you’re still healing.

Need support? I’m here. This isn’t just my job—it’s my calling.
Book a free consultation or learn more about healing from narcissistic abuse, codependency, and trauma at www.healingmyfeelings.com.
You’re not alone anymore.