Tag: not alone

Letters to Myself: A Journey of Self-Discovery

I write myself letters and I’ll grab a random page out of my journal, write something and then however time that passes, I’ll get to that page and see it. Tonight was one of those letters. As I share this with you all, this is also a letter for you all. Life is hard. It doesn’t need to be that way, so why do we continue to make it hard? Just something to think about. Nobody is coming to “rescue” or “save” you. I know that feeling how we want that to happen, but when that does, we lose our power. If you’ve been in that situation before, you can understand what I’m saying. I needed to read this tonight and I hope it encourages you as well. Keep going! Keep working on yourself because you’re worthy. Be the person you want to date. When you love yourself, the right kind of person will also love you. Never lose those standards. Never!

Letter To Myself:
Hey Chica, I can see you’re going through a tough time right now, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. Life can be incredibly challenging, and it’s completely normal to struggle with the choices we make and the obstacles we face.
First of all, I want to acknowledge your strength. Despite the difficulties you’re experiencing, you’re still here, facing each day with courage and determination. That’s something to be proud of.
It’s important to remember that we all make mistakes and face tough times in life. What’s crucial is how we respond to these challenges. Instead of dwelling on past choices or letting them define you, focus on what you can do right now to create positive change in your life. Stop thinking of why this happened to you. Start asking yourself “What am I going to do?”
Soo…what are you going to do?
Try these out:
Take some time to reflect on the lessons you’ve learned from your experiences. Every setback, every mistake, is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Use these experiences to become stronger and wiser.
Reach out for support when you need it. Whether it’s talking to a trusted friend, seeking guidance from a therapist, or finding support groups in your community, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to face your struggles alone.
I know there is lots of shame, so grab the phone and record yourself. Remember to be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can with the resources you have, and that’s enough.
Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend in need.
Lastly, keep moving forward, one step at a time. It’s okay if progress feels slow or if you encounter setbacks along the way. What matters is that you keep pushing forward, even when it’s hard.
You are capable of overcoming the challenges life throws your way. Believe in yourself, stay resilient, and know that brighter days are ahead. You’ve got this.
Look at everything you’ve overcome. Don’t let THIS be the thing that stops you, but another stepping stone that makes you the beautiful human being you are. Look at what you’ve overcome.

Loving you Always-
The one you’re forgetting about but I’m not forgetting you.
YOU ARE AMAZING!

When the Wu & the Seuss collide 🤣

In the depths of struggle, where shadows may roam,
Know deep in your heart, you’re never alone.
Through the storms and the trials, you’ve stood tall,
Your resilience shines, breaking down every wall.

Though wounds may be deep, and scars may remain,
Each step forward, you’re breaking the chain.
With each sunrise, a chance to renew,
To rise from the ashes, and start anew.

Embrace the journey, with courage and grace,
For within you lies, an unyielding space.
A spirit unbroken, a soul so divine,
You’re a beacon of hope, in life’s grand design.

So when doubts try to whisper, and fears start to creep,
Remember your strength, it runs deep.
You’ve conquered before, you’ll conquer again,
For healing is a journey, not a quick win.

L-O-V-E

The love bomb and the discard. The devaluation cycle. You go from on top of the world to the gutter really quick. A little bit of bread crumbing in the middle to give you hope. Just a tiny taste of the love they used to feed you. Scraps really. And it almost seemed like they were coming back. The silent treatment. A whole lot of the silent treatment. Not being acknowledged at all. Maybe ghosting. What’s the real difference when all is said and done? First, being called a “soul mate”. A “twin flame”. They waited their whole entire life to find you. Then the stone walling. The gaslighting. The manipulation. The lies. You’ll never have to be alone again. That’s the big lie. It just sounds so appealing. Perfect. But somewhere deep down inside you knew that it was too good to be true. But it was beautiful. Magical. Everything you ever wanted. And you can’t fucking believe you fell for it, can you? Was it real? Was it fake? What about the feelings that you experienced? Was it all in your head? All in your heart? Either way, you feel betrayed now. And of course, they telegraphed the whole break up. Early on. They pretty much told you exactly what they were going to do. All the way down to how they were going to replace the supply. You could see it in their patterns. In the way that they talked about their exes. Their family. Possibly their boss. Sometimes even their friends. Maybe they outright told you. But you were so enamored that you simply refused to believe what they were showing you. Even as they spelled it out…. in crystal clear language. Red flags. Ignored. So many red flags. They certainly are hard to see through those rose colored glasses, aren’t they? And the whole experience feels dehumanizing, doesn’t it? Suffering in silence. Hoping they’d come back if you just suppressed every want. Eliminated every need. If you could just stop. Stop your anxiety. Stop the meltdowns. You didn’t used to be like this. Your nervous system is disregulated. You haven’t cried this much in years. And you try not to reach out, but of course you break down and you do, and you look crazy. Each message obviously distraught. You feel crazy too. And I guess in a way you are.That’s what they’d say, right? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. It was never gonna change. Face it, you knew they weren’t coming back. But you have no fucking self respect, do you? You quieted your own needs. Tried to be less you. Begged. Pleaded. Groveled. Just to be met with a wall of silence. You willingly gave away your dignity. And now you fucking hate people. Don’t know how you will ever trust again. Don’t worry. You won’t. At least not the way you trusted them. And that’s a good thing in the long run. Lessons can look an awful like like love if you don’t pay close attention to the red flags they’re wearing. And that’s what they were. A lesson. Wrapped in red flags. Not love. Just a really fucking hard lesson.

Mission Control

It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to write. I take that back, I’ve had chances, but I was distracted. There are things I don’t share about my life (shocking, eh?) I’m generally an open book but it’s not that I want privacy. It’s the fact that I hide my shame. I’m filled with shame about my cancer diagnosis, my parenting skills, my lack of employment because I’m on disability and my shame of not being who I once was.
I loved who I was in the past. I was this ultimate badass and felt like I could have been on the cover of Fortune 500 just for being me, when it comes to skills, THIS GIRL has them…or had them. That fire is still in there somewhere. The fire where I just want to help people gain their independence. To help those strategize on their next business idea. For some reason, I always wanted to be in the spotlight but now I want to be behind the scenes,6 and I don’t know how to do that. Strange, no?
My car was repossessed and it’s the one last thing I have. To have it taken away, I can’t even think about that. I swallowed my pride and I shared online, and I had so many people help me that I cannot even begin to explain all the feelings I had from others helping me. I felt relevant and…ALIVE. I felt like I was still alive when inside, I’m dead. Something I can’t explain.