Tag: Personal development

Understanding Your Relationship with Yourself

I’m not sure if I’ve already posted this but I’ve been clearing out my writing folders and podcast scripts and didn’t want this goody to go to waste.


Today we’re diving into one of the most important, and yet most overlooked, relationships in our lives, the one we have with ourselves.

Let me say this upfront:
The relationship you have with yourself is the primary relationship in your life.
Everything else: your friendships, your romantic partnerships, your career, your finances is a mirror reflecting what’s going on in that inner world.

Now let’s begin this journey by asking a question:
What is your relationship to you?
Whether you’re conscious of it or not, whatever is unresolved or unhealed within you is going to show up in every single area of your life.

Let me give you an example:
If you carry the belief, “I’m not good enough,” chances are that belief will bleed into your career.
If you think, “I don’t deserve to receive,” don’t be surprised when your financial life feels blocked or inconsistent.
These beliefs aren’t just thoughts, but they become the lens you see life through.

So, to really reach our potential, we have to start by looking inward and identifying what’s hurt, what’s wounded, what’s been buried and then tend to it.

Heal it. Empower it. Reprogram it.

And when we do that?
We don’t just feel better.
We become better in our self-esteem, in how we show up in relationships, in how we manage money, in how we handle stress. Literally, everything shifts.

So why don’t we learn this earlier?
The truth is, we rarely get this modeled for us growing up.
We live in a system built around classical conditioning — punishment and reward — and it trains us to look outward for approval, instead of inward for connection.

As kids, most of us were born into unconditional love. Somewhere around age two, that love starts to feel… conditional.
We start hearing messages like:
“Be a good boy.” “Do better.” “That’s not enough.”
And even if it’s well-intentioned, our little brains start to internalize these patterns as:
“I’m only lovable when I behave.”
“Love is something I earn.”
“If I mess up, I lose connection.”

That’s the first trauma most of us carry: the shift from unconditional to conditional love.
And it sticks… shaping how we talk to ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and how we expect to be treated by others.

So let me ask you:
What does your relationship to self look like today?

Do you show yourself compassion when you make a mistake?
Do you give yourself space to rest when you’re tired?
Do you listen to your own needs?
Do you keep your own boundaries?
Or are you still operating from outdated beliefs handed to you before you even knew who you were?

Here’s the truth:
Your self-relationship affects everything.
It sets your comfort zone, what you tolerate from others, what you believe you’re worthy of, and even what kinds of people you’re drawn to.
So if you find yourself constantly attracting people who hurt, abandon, or manipulate you
You’re not cursed.
You’re not broken.
You’re just unconsciously recreating the patterns you were taught.

Here’s the good news:
You can reprogram all of it.

Let’s talk ingredients.
There are five key components of a healthy relationship to self:

  1. Self-awareness — Truly knowing yourself and having a stable sense of identity.
  2. Self-respect — Treating yourself in a healthy, loving, and kind way.
  3. Self-loyalty — Looking out for your own best interests and showing up for yourself.
  4. Self-responsibility — Taking accountability for your choices and your healing.
  5. Self-protection — Supporting yourself, protecting your energy, and caring for your emotional and physical needs.

When these pieces are in place, you don’t just survive but you thrive.

So, why does all of this matter?
It matters because your relationship to yourself is the blueprint for every other relationship you have.

It sets the tone for:

  • What behaviors you’ll tolerate from others
  • How you respond when someone crosses your boundaries
  • Whether or not you feel comfortable asking for your needs to be met
  • If you believe you deserve real, consistent, trustworthy love

When your internal world is calm, kind, and clear your external world starts to reflect that.

Now, here’s the final thought I want to leave you with today:
Every relationship outside of you , every challenge, trigger, or pattern is a reflection of your internal relationship to self.
And that means:
You don’t have to change the world to change your life.
You just have to come home to you.

Until then, be gentle with yourself.
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You’re just remembering who you’ve always been.

Consider booking a 1:1 session
You can learn more at www.healingmyfeelings.com.

Remember: healing starts within.

Breaking Free from Codependency: Steps Toward a Healthier You

Have you ever found yourself putting someone else’s needs above your own, to the point where you lose sight of who you really are? Or maybe you feel like you’re constantly giving, but somehow not getting the support or love you deserve in return? If this sounds familiar, you might be caught in the grip of codependency.

Codependency isn’t just about being overly attached to someone—it’s about losing your sense of self in the process of trying to please, care for, or fix others. Recognizing codependency is the first step toward reclaiming your life and rediscovering your own needs, boundaries, and desires.

What is Codependency? At its core, codependency is an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person sacrifices their own well-being to meet the needs of another. It often happens in relationships where one person may struggle with addiction, emotional turmoil, or narcissism, and the other becomes overly responsible for their partner’s emotions and actions.

If you’re codependent, you may:

  • Feel like you need to “save” others from their problems
  • Struggle with setting boundaries
  • Often put your own needs on the backburner for fear of upsetting others
  • Feel anxious or guilty when you try to focus on your own well-being

But here’s the thing: breaking free from codependency isn’t about abandoning the people you care about—it’s about finding a balance that allows you to care for yourself too.

How to Start the Healing Process

  1. Acknowledge the Pattern The first step is often the hardest: recognizing that you might be in a codependent dynamic. This can be challenging because it often feels like you’re just being loving or helpful. Ask yourself: Am I losing myself in this relationship? Am I feeling drained or neglected? These questions can help you gain clarity.
  2. Set Healthy Boundaries Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away; it’s about protecting your energy and well-being. Start small—whether it’s saying “no” when you need to or setting limits on how much you give emotionally. Boundaries are an essential part of building a healthy relationship with yourself and others.
  3. Reconnect with Yourself Remember who you are outside of your relationships. Spend time doing things that nurture you—whether it’s a hobby you’ve neglected, a self-care routine, or just some quiet time alone. When you prioritize your own needs, you can show up as a stronger, more grounded version of yourself.
  4. Seek Support You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Whether through therapy, support groups, or a life coach, there are people who can help you process the emotions tied to codependency. The more support you have, the more empowered you’ll feel to make lasting changes.
  5. Practice Self-Compassion Healing takes time, and you may face setbacks along the way. Be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge the progress you’ve made and remind yourself that you’re worthy of love and respect—just as you are.

Codependency doesn’t have to define your relationships. By setting boundaries, reconnecting with yourself, and seeking support, you can break free from the cycle and create healthier, more fulfilling connections. Remember, you deserve love, care, and attention—not just from others, but from yourself too.

Are you ready to take the first step toward healing and reclaiming your life? It’s never too late to start.

Schedule TODAY!