They say relationships are mirrors.That whatever hurt you was just showing you something about yourself. That the pain is the lesson. That if you look close enough at the glass, you'll find the flaw...
Category: toxic
When Thinking Becomes a Way to Avoid Feeling
You can understand yourself completely and still be emotionally disconnected from yourself. We hear people say things like: “I need to get out of my head and into my heart.”“I want to lead with my heart.”“I’m trying to connect with my feelings.” Then something uncomfortable happens and, almost immediately, they begin analyzing it. They explain … Continue reading When Thinking Becomes a Way to Avoid Feeling
People Love Authenticity Until Someone Actually Practices It
Maybe the problem is not that someone is “too much.” Maybe their freedom is making us confront ourselves. I’ve been thinking a lot about the word authenticity, because people love that word until somebody actually practices it. We say we want people to be vulnerable. We say, “Speak your truth.” We say we want real … Continue reading People Love Authenticity Until Someone Actually Practices It
Beyond the “Cold” Exterior: 5 Surprising Truths About Dating a Dismissive Avoidant
If you spend any time in the corners of the internet dedicated to relationship advice, you’ve likely heard the same refrain regarding the Dismissive Avoidant (DA) attachment style: "Run." Social media often paints the DA as a cold, robotic partner who is fundamentally incapable of deep connection. It’s a narrative that leaves many of us … Continue reading Beyond the “Cold” Exterior: 5 Surprising Truths About Dating a Dismissive Avoidant
Lies Do Not Hide as Well as People Think: How Deception Announces Itself in Relationships
Most people believe liars are hard to catch. So they try to become better detectors, watching for the slip, the story that falls apart, the moment the mask drops.I want to move the real cause one...
Are You the Flying Monkey, or Were You Duped Into Being Someone Else’s?
The question lands differently when you realize both can be true at the same time.You can be weaponized by someone else's narrative and still be responsible for the damage you caused. The two aren't...
You Call Me Cold
You call me cold.You call me heartless.You call me detached. What you really mean is: "I'm upset you won't stay in my pain with me." There is a difference. You mistake boundaries for a lack of compassion.You mistake accountability for a lack of empathy.You mistake movement for avoidance. I don't measure compassion by how long … Continue reading You Call Me Cold
What Peer Support Groups Actually Do (And Why Most People Misunderstand Them)
You walk into a peer support group expecting community. What you find is a mirror.The room is full of people who have lived through something close to what you're going through. They aren't...
Strong Ego vs Weak Ego vs Big Ego: What Actually Separates Them
People talk about ego like it's automatically a bad thing.It's not.A strong ego means you can function in reality without collapsing under pressure or blowing yourself up into some inflated fantasy...
Stop Calling Everyone a Narcissist and Look in the Mirror
You know what's getting old? The way everyone suddenly became an armchair psychologist.Every ex is a narcissist. Every difficult person has a personality disorder. Every boundary violation gets a...